7.31.2006

all of the wonderful / horrible aromas

Good news / bad news.

First, the good. My sinus infection is finally starting to clear up.

Bad: With the clearing of the sinus passages comes a heightened sense of smell. All day I have had odor sensory overload. The basement smelled like burnt bagels and steamed milk first thing this morning. The men's room reminded me of some outhouses far removed from civilization. The elevator reeked of... well, like someone relieved themselves, yet a couple hours later the elevator smelled like cheap fish sticks (not much of an improvement). For a while the scent of pasta and marinara permeated the main floor. And the two dozen pizzas that were ordered for the first floor filled the stairwell.

Add to that every dash of perfume, breath mint, deodorant (or lack thereof), and every cigarette as employees returning from smoke breaks.

My head hurts.

real life conversation

Upon return from Canada, my wife made an interesting discovery while unpacking my bags.

Bekah: What are these? (holds up a pair of boxers) Are these yours?
Me: No.
Bekah: Who's are they?
Me: I don't know.
Bekah: How did they get in your bag?
Me: (shugs shoulders)
Bekah: What do you expect me to do with them?
Me: (shrugs shoulders again)
Bekah: That's so gross.
Me: So, throw them away.
Bekah: And waste a perfectly good pair of boxers? I'll just wash them.

7.28.2006

What ever happened to personal responsibility?

I have my reasons for asking. I may share them later but for now, I just want your thoughts.

thnx

7.22.2006

if stupidity was a crime, he'd be guilty of attempted murder

We are back from Canada, but with the triple digit temperatures in the Coeur d'Alene area I kind of wish I was still there.

Of all the things that could have happened or gone wrong when taking 100 high school aged kids out of the country and then throwing them all onto crowded houseboats beached on a lake in the wilderness... It went pretty well.

I had 15 kids on my boat. Six of them were (are) involved with the worship team, one of the big reasons that I was a leader on their boat. Few of them were friends, but they got to know and tolerate each other fairly well.

A lot happened during the week, enough for me to keep you up all night reading. Some I'll save for later, and some will just be verbal anecdotes for those of you who speak to me on occasion. There is one single event that stands out above all others. It is, as a captain from one of the other boats called it, a classic camp story.

Lake Koocanusa is nestled in the Canadian Rockies. While it's southern most tip is in Montana, the majority of the lake, including the beach we camped on, is in British Columbia. The lake is also a reservoir, one that is slowly being drained. That draining was both a good thing and a bad thing. Good: we gained about ten feet of beach over the course of five days. Bad: it created some rip tide like currents.

I gained first hand knowledge of the strength of those currents Tuesday when we took our boat out from the beach and let our kids swim for a while. We had a small group; four guys, one girl, myself and Big John (the other leader on my boat). We got out to the middle of the lake, Big John shut off the engine so the kids could swim and we chilled for a while, listening to an interesting mix of Bob Marley and Jimmy Buffet.

A couple of the boys were jumping off of the top deck, a fun thing that was not allowed while beached (it would be breaking the camp's only rule: don't be an idiot). There was also a water slide attached to the boat, and for some strange reason, I felt that riding the slide would be safer than jumping from the second story deck. Silly me. Shortly after hitting the water I realized hey, these currents are rather strong. If it had just been strong currents, I probably could have overcome it, except for one unfortunate fact. It was a windy day. Worse, the wind and currents were going in opposite directions.

Once in the water, I was about ten feet away from the boat and no matter how hard I tried, that's where I stayed. The current was pulling me south, and the wind was blowing the boat north. Thankfully I wasn't losing ground but I wasn't gaining any either. It was like a treadmill... for swimmers. One of the kids jumped in and tried to help, but then we were both stuck in the current.

Finally, Big John told the three remaining passengers to throw me a rope. One kid (the worship band's techie) threw a rope. The whole rope. The kid is smart when it comes to Power Point presentations and running the sound board, but not to bright when it comes to more important matters like saving some one's life.

Initially, I was excited for the rope, swam over and started tugging on it. Seconds later I discovered that it was not attached to anything. The people on the boat didn't realize the failed rescue attempt until after I yelled "A lot of good this does me!"

Finally the two of us in the water were pulled in with a life ring. And I learned a valuable lesson: never trust the sound tech with your life, he might accidentally try to kill you.

However, he did put in a bit of practice with the life ring the next day, throwing it out to a bunch of girls who didn't like cold water. He then began calling himself David Hasselhoff... despite being shorter, chubbier, significantly younger, and bearing no resemblance of any kind to Mr. Hasselhoff.



P.S., if you click on the link for David Hasselhoff, be prepared, it's kind of frightening.

7.14.2006

Oh, Canada

Oh, Canada by Five Iron Frenzy
From the Album Our Newest Album Ever
Lyrics by Reese Roper

Welcome to Canada, it's the Maple Leaf State
Canada, oh Canada it's great!
The people are nice and they speak French too
If you don't like it, man, you sniff glue
The Great White North, their kilts are plaid
Hosers take off, it's not half bad
I want to be where yaks can run free
Where Royal Mounties can arrest me
Let's go to Canada, let's leave today
Canada, oh, Canada, I s'il vous plait
They've got trees, and mooses, and sled dogs
Lots of lumber, and lumberjacks, and logs!
We all think it's kind of a drag
That you have to go there to get milk in a bag
They say "eh?" instead of "what?" or "duh?"
That's the mighty power of Canada
I want to be where lemmings run into the sea
Where the marmosets can attack me
Let's go to Canada, let's leave today
Canada, oh, Canada, I s'il vous plait
Please, please, explain to me
How this all has come to be
We forgot to mention something here
Did we say that William Shatner is a native citizen?
And Slurpees made from venison
That's deer
Let's go to Canada, let's leave today
Canada, oh, Canada, I s'il vous plait


Bekah and I will be in Canada most of next week. Our church is sending up the high school kids up to Lake Koocanusa for what our youth pastor describes as “the mother of all summer camps.” We will both be counselors for the week, should be a lot of fun, but I’m sure we’ll both be exhausted when we return.

The good news… We’re staying on houseboats.
The bad news… The boats sleep 15; each boat has 15 kids (some more) and two adults.


And yes, I know "mooses" is not a real word. Moose is the proper plural form. Don't blame me... I did not write the song.

7.12.2006

real life conversation

overheard near elevator...

older lady: So, was it a big gossip thing?

younger lady: No. Linda said that James said that...

7.08.2006

speak, child

Christian is picking up on all sorts of new words.

mess, yur welcome, and most importantly.... coffee!

7.04.2006

sundown & twilight

Sundown from the boardwalk on Lake Coeur d'Alene

A hazy half moon last night in Hayden

of split personalities

Do you remember when I said I'd like to keep multiple blogs? Well, one of my multiple personalities has broken free and started a whole new blog.

This new blog is more of a spiritual and mental exercise for me. It will focus more on theological and philosophical musings. The first post is about why I believe prosperity theology should not be taught in churches.

If you have no interest in spiritual matters, no worries. I will continue to update this site with my usual take on stupid people and the world around us.

If you are interested, you can find links to the new blog titled What's Inside here, in my links to your left under friends & family, or in my profile.

7.03.2006

special

By reading this blog, some might come to believe that I lead an exciting life. If you happen to be one of those people you are sadly mistaken. I am sorry to have misled you.

Just an example of how boring my life REALLY is... I finally have a second page of friends on Myspace. And I find that exciting. I would feel special but half of those friends are bands that I'm a fan of. Not really friends.



In other news. Local police arrested a bona fide nutcase last Tuesday. An officer was attacked by this wacko who was wandering down the road blocking traffic. The whole story is quite entertaining but here are my favorite highlights:
1. After arrest, officers discovered a coin taped to the man's butt cheek. Fruit Loop explained that it was covering a birth mark that also happened to be a direct line to China.
2. His reason for being out in the street? He was the son of Howard Hughes and was looking for cannabis.
3. And why did he attack the arresting officer? It was a family quarrel. He told the court that the officer was his second cousin and had no right to arrest him... even if he was in uniform. (side note, officer and the crazy guy are not related in any way)
4. Also in court, he made mention of involvement in a case in a different state (where he has previous assault of an officer charges) that includes an executive order signed by Ronald Reagan.
5. Besides being off his rocker, he is also quite strong. It took the officer, a passing motorist, and a trucker to subdue the man.
6. His name is Bender. And I thought Bender was the name of the robot in Futurama.
If you want to read the full story it was in Wednesday's edition of the CDA Press with the headline "Judge orders mental exams for suspect." (http://www.cdapress.com) No worries for those of us iving in North Idaho, bail is set at 150 grand. Unless his birth mark can get him in touch with some rich friends in China, I don't think he'll be out any time soon.