Eye speek English good!

Hooray for poor grammar.

Bekah and I have experienced frustration with our supposed college level communications class. At our school, communication is a fancy word for English, and the class seems as if it was intended for sixth graders (or as an English as a second language class).

This week is the last week of class, so one would think the material we are covering would be a higher difficulty level than previous weeks. Yet, last week we had an assignment on strategies to remember proper usage of commonly misused words like raze/raise or am/pm. Am/pm?! Who over the age of twelve does not know the difference between am and pm? We also had a quiz that asked us which word was the correct word... protectedest or most protected.

I feel like I am in a junior high remedial grammar class. But as time goes by, I see more and more why classes like this exist. Even the professionals need help. The following is copied word for word (I kid you not) from Yahoo sports. It is a description of Toronto Raptors' point guard T.J. Ford.

"Ford's scoring average has risen to 16.2 points per game, but he's still been inconsistent on the offensive end as he tries to get use to his knew surroundings. " (see it here)

Get use??? Knew???

Some one needs to go back to college.

Beware of large numbers of stupid people

Exhibit A: A Walmart in California viewed the crowd waiting for the midnight release of the Playstation 3 as an inconvenience. Some genius of the management kind decided that it would be a good idea to have ALL of the hopeful PS3 owners to wait outside. Pandemonium revolt ensued. In the chaos, clothing racks were toppled, products was dumped and scattered across the floor, police were called, and the store was completely shut down. Poor saps had to wait a little longer to make their longed for purchase. The store did not open until 7:00am.

Exhibit B: A Walmart in Wisconsin had a stock of ten Playstation 3's to sell at midnight. They had 50 people waiting in line. Only a minor problem with a simple solution. Store employees set out ten chairs and made an announcement that the first ten people to site in the chairs could purchase the new PS3. 40 people left empty handed, one of which left with a few less brain cells. In the mad dash to fill a chair, one customer ran head first into a flag pole.

Exhibit C: There are flyers advertising the 'tree of sharing' plastered in every nook and cranny at my work. The flyer in the elevator has a unique handwritten addition, explaining the purpose of the tree of sharing. It reads, "The tree of sharing is to give employees kid toys."... I always wanted kid toys! Do we get to pick for ourselves? If so, I want a Lite Brite.

Exhibit D: At a Walmart (noticing a trend) in Connecticut, a crowd of future PS3 owners were confronted by two gunman. One person was shot for not complying. Sorry, but this one is not as funny as the other two Walmart incidents. In fact, it is just not funny at all.

Exhibit D, A, and B

Winter Blunderland

We are moved. Not unpacked... but moved. The moving experience went much smoother than expected, for that I am grateful.

I was anticipating a sloppier move, weather wise that is. The skies set loose precipitation of the flaky kind midweek, and I immediately started planning out worst case scenarios as wet sticky snow gathered outside my office window. I was not looking forward to driving a U-Haul through slush or snow, back and forth between old and new residences.

But alas, nature proved to more optimistic than I. The roads were drying out by Friday, and Saturday (moving day) brought sunshine. What started out as gloom gradually progressed into sunny skies.

Local weather, unfortunately, bears no resemblance to human rights in North Idaho. In fact they seem to be polar opposites. Thanks to a recent lapse of judgment, one North Idaho judge seems to have opened old wounds of racial bigotry. We may have put on a happy face, but bruises remain.

In contrast to the weather, civil liberties started out pleasant. But it gotten colder and gloomier in the last few weeks. Winter suddenly has a whole new meaning.

Winter Blunderland

We are officially moved. Not unpacked... but moved.

I was nervous for a while this week as the weather decided that precipitation of the flaky kind was a good idea. With snow falling midweek and looking like it would continue through the weekend, I was not looking forward to driving the U-Haul between new and old residences.

But nature proved to be more optimistic than I had been, and the weather gradually improved. It started to dry out on Friday and we had sunshine for most of the moving party on Saturday. After $70 worth of pizza Saturday afternoon, all was looking well.

This change of gloom to sunnier skys bears little resemblance to civil rights issues in North Idaho. Thanks to the recent courtroom absurdities in Boundary County, civil rights here seem to be working in reverse of the weather. What seemed to be sunshine seems to be getting colder and cloudier.

An eye on you

Do you remember that Rockwell song...

"I always feel like, somebody's watchin' me"

Please Help

I am writing an essay for my COM120 class about the effectiveness of controversial advertising and I need some input.

Think about some TV advertisements you have seen, either sexual or violent in nature. Were you offended? Are there commercials that have offended you? Do these commercials inspire you to purchase whatever the ad is hawking? Are there products that you won't buy due to the subject matter of the commercials?

There is one ad campaign that stands out in my mind from Firestone Tires. The commercial features two highly attractive people provocatively dancing in the rain. The man is dressed formally, the woman is wearing a thin, strappy, white dress. (did I mention they were dancing in the rain?) It is not till the end of the commercial that you discover they are advertising tires instead of waterproof lipstick or dancing lessons. What is the point? Does that make you want to buy tires? Not me.

Please take a moment and post a comment for me. I don't usually beg for comments, but I would like a few (several) of you to answer the above questions. Thank you.

entertaining a child

Christian is two in almost every sense of the word: the temper tantrums, the clumsiness, the moments of hilarity that every parent lives for. And he is also all boy: pushing, stealing, falling down and getting back up like nothing happened, and flirting. (I am only half kidding about that last one.)

Some parents find entertaining toddlers of this variety easy. Some friends of ours has a daughter a few months younger than Christian who is obsessed with the movie 'Shrek.' Pop in either Shrek movie and she is glued to the screen. Play the movie over and over, and she ignores you for hours. This TV tactic is common amongst young parents. As much as I do not want Christian to become a TV addict, I must admit I have tried it myself.

Those attempts were of course utter failures. My two year old son has no interest in TV. None. I sometimes don't know what to do with myself. Toddlers are self centered by nature, and they need that time that is devoted to them to be able to function. With out TV our only options are tickle fights (which can only last a few minutes since he can't fight back) and reading. You put twenty kiddy books in front of Christian and he will expect you to read each and everyone to him.

I guess that is a good thing. A passion for literature is something that seems to be dying more with each new generation. Why read a book when you could just watch the movie? I like to read, so it seems fitting that Christian does as well. However, I have completely memorized Dr. Seuss' ABC's, I'm starting to wish they'd make a movie of Are You My Mother, and if I have to read the insipid One Kitten For Kim one more time I will need shock therapy.

Christian loves books. If you read to him, you will have his undivided attention for at least 20 minutes. Bekah bought a board book with pictures hidden under flaps at Costco a couple of weeks ago, and that book has entertained him more than anything else. Best purchase we have ever made for him. He will turn the pages cover to cover and then back again, examining every secret window with the type of wide eyed wonder that only a child could possess. He sat through almost an entire episode of Law & Order the other night with nothing more than that one book to capture his attention; the only time he ever looked away from the book is when he found a picture of a girl pushing a horse out of a barn. He looks up at me and asks, "Pushing?" Once I confirmed that he correctly identified the picture, he went right back to reading.

We have found one other (slightly discouraging) method of entertainment. Christian likes to destroy things; he loves making messes. Yet another personality trait he inherited from me. He doesn't play with his toys, but you'd never know by looking at his room. If we clean his room then shut him inside, we easily have about 45 minutes to an hour to do anything we need to while he pulls every toy out of its place and drops it somewhere on the floor. Once every toy is out and scattered, we repeat the process. Clean the room so he can clutter it again. Or we just read to him some more.

Fruit or Vegetable?

I asked my class to answer this question: Are you a fruit or a vegetable. Here are some of the more interesting responses.



Whether I am a fruit or vegetable depends on several things. 1st thing in the morning I could usually be classified as a vegetable, definitely not a morning person. There are various times when I can be classified as a fruit, especially by my children, because at times being a little insane is what keeps you normal. Even though my hair is dark, some blonde jokes apply, I could say the blond is seeping through and invading my personality. My favorite moments at being a fruit are when I know it will embarrass my children the most, for instance in front of their friends or in public places.

I think I am a fruit, because I am sweet and better looking then a vegetable. Fruit to me seem to more colorful and optimistic, and that is what I am trying to be. More people seem to stick to the fruity side and being a veggie tale sounds kind stale and gloomy. So I feel that I am a fruit, because I am a sweet sensitive and caring person. Or at least I hope someday to be.

I’m a fruit because I am and yeah. Just look at me.

I believe myself to be a fruit. Fruit is sweet and most people like it. I tend to try and be sweet and generally get along with everyone. Yet some fruits have tough textures and depending on weather or not i get along with you will determine if you will be able to get through it.

I would have to put myself in the vegetable category, the reason being that I consider myself in the healthy category, fairly mundane, practical, but full of the necessary things: ... not too sweet, so can't go for fruit. Rarely silly, also can't go for fruit.

I am feeling like a fruit today...let's say a pomegranate............difficult, hard too peel and to discover. Yet soft & ,juicy and easy to enjoy.........in other words........tough on the outside, yet soft at heart.

I am a fruit because I am sweet and devious.
I am also a vegetable because I am hearty and good for you.

I'm a kiwi. I'm wild, tart and yet sweet all in one...(and fuzzy)

I would have to say that I'm a fruit. Kinda sweet but at the same time a little sour.

I have decided that I am both a fruit and a veggie. Because at times I can be sweet and very loving but at other times i am dead to the world.

(And my personal favorite…)

Well I would say that since a tomato is a fruit I am a fruit. I'm round like a tomato at this point.



This confirms what I have suspected for the last five weeks, my class is a bunch of fruits (mostly).

I've got enthusikasm!

Every week I give my students a survey to rate if my teaching and the curriculum is effective. A score of one means I suck and they hate me; five means I am the coolest person ever. I usually rate about four and a half. Not quite the coolest, but at least likable.

Each section of the survey contains a blank section for comments. This section usually garners comments like "we're going too fast" or "we're going to slow" "it's too hot" and "it's too cold." since the comments from one trainee tend to contradict another, I tend not to give the remarks too much attention. I do read them; occasionally one will be highly entertaining... mostly due to spelling errors. But there is always at least one that makes me wonder.

For example, in the section for feed back that focuses on me, one student wrote the following quip: "Instructor shows lots of exitement and enthusikasm."

Exitement? Enthusikasm?! What the crap? I just had to know, what is enthusikam? So, I asked my class to give me the best possible definition.

Here are my two favorite responses:

Enthusikasm: 1. (adj) To be excited, but not really.
2. (noun) Enthusiastic sarcasm.

I'm not sure if I like having either definition apply to me, but the same person elsewhere said I make it interesting... hmmm.

I'm proposing a new word to be added to the next edition of Merriam-Webster, enthusikasm!


Question. Which definition do you like best?

Try back in about eight years

I love it when my wife answers the phone. You never know what she will say. We received a call Friday night, and while I only heard Bekah's half of the conversation, here's how it went:

"Hello?"
"... ......... ......."
"I'm sorry, he's not able to come to the phone right now. He's two."

the art of being busy

A few short weeks ago, Bekah and I had a discussion about time. I was interested in getting involved a little more at church, and she though we were all ready doing a lot. Simple difference of opinion. I just didn't feel like we were busy enough. Church on Sunday morning and youth group twice a week on top of working 40+ hours a week seemed like too much free time.

God was listening. Word of advice... be careful what you ask for. He just might give you more than what you asked for.

New schedule. Work is still 40 - 45 hours a week. Church is still on Sunday mornings but the youth worship band practices on Sunday afternoons. Sunday evenings Bekah and I are taking a class called Making Children Mind without Losing Yours. Tuesday and Wednesday nights are still devoted to youth group, my time there is split between helping the band, making sure the media presentations are ready, picking a set list, and hanging out with the kids. Everything that happens on those days are kind of a blur. By the time the week is over, I barely remember them. I am preparing to start working with the worship band for big church on Thursday nights. Bekah and I both started school with in the last couple of weeks and we have homework due almost every night by midnight, including Sundays.

On top of this we have friends that we try to have dinner with at least once a week, and spent time together as a family.

My work week runs Saturday through Friday. The church week runs Sunday through Saturday. And my school week runs Monday through Sunday. I'm up late doing homework and at work before 7am. I have been averaging about 4-5 hours of sleep a night for the past couple of weeks.

I have never felt so alive.

More fun from Savage Chickens

This is how I've been feeling lately.

For more chicken fun, go to

Savage Chickens

The perfect job

Actual answer from an employment survey

Question: What makes a job an enjoyable place to work?
Answer: Laid back, casual dress code, not so strict, & has games.
Translation: I want a job where I don't have to work.
Suggestion: Go work for minimum wage at a seasonal employer. i.e. Triple Play... or Silverwood.

a few things that scare me about toddlers... Specifically my toddler

1. The average energy output of a two year old is roughly equal to one atomic bomb

2. My son consistently eats more in one sitting than my wife. That's OK for now, but is frightening when looking at future grocery bills.

3. He is getting taller but is not gaining any weight. He still weighs the same as he did prior to the summer months.

4. Do you want to know what the most annoying sound in the world is? Come over to my house while we're trying to put Christian to bed.

5. I was a stubborn child. Bekah was a stubborn child. Christian inherited it from both of us. Here's how the math works: stubborn + stubborn = a force requiring patience of heroic proportions. Mules have nothing on Christian. Thankfully, I'm way bigger than he is.

6. Christian is a bully. I'm not sure how it happened. I never was a bully, so I'm not sure how to relate. If any of you were bullies in your youth, any advice would be appreciated.

7. Christian does not like toys. But he loves electrical wires, cell phones, and remote controls.

8. Feed milk products to lactose intolerant toddlers at your own risk. The end result is not pleasant. Trust me.

9. While thumbing through photos of my fathers childhood, I found a picture of my dad that looked exactly like Christian. Dear son, you're such a cute kid. I am sorry, but you will grow up to look just like me and grampa. Genetics is such a humbling thing.

10. Christian's idea of gently petting the dog is grabbing a leg or ear and pulling as hard as possible. He does this while saying "soft." We're trying to get him to be softer with animals. It might be time for a new tactic. Thankfully, Psuchen takes it like an invalid.

11. Christian's two favorite words are goggy (doggy) and biguck (big truck). Unfortunately the way he says truck sounds like a part of the human anatomy. Makes sense when you know what he's talking about and extremely helpful when he points at a big truck.

12. Bekah and I have managed to teach Christian how to say thuggin'. There really should be rules about who's allowed to procreate.

13. Christian can destroy his room in 1/4th the time that it takes to clean it up.

14. He is a very agreeably child. Ask him anything and he'll agree with you, even if he really doesn't. i.e. Are you hungry? He says "hungee" and nods his head but won't eat. Are you thirsty? "Terty" nods head but won't drink. Are you tired? "Ty-rrrrd" but he won't go to bed. Do you want to cuddle with daddy? "Cudzle" He nods his head but screams the instant I pick him up. This goes on for quite some time until I ask are you a purple elephant? "Elfint," he says while nodding. Finally, are you thuggin'? "THUGGIN'" at this point he grins like a fool and runs off to do whatever it is that toddlers do.

15. Life with a toddler is lived through little breaks between moments of chaos. Strangely, I can't imagine life without it.

16. My alarm clock is made of flesh and blood. He goes off about 6:00am every morning. There is no snooze button.

17. Problem solving is not a problem, especially when it is a problem he's not supposed to solve.

18. Honestly, I think he speaks Yiddish. Maybe Hebrew.

19. Christian acts his age. Unfortunately, he's two.

20. Christian has his own profile set up for Halo. Too bad he doesn't understand the controls.

21. He's a crazy miniature version of me, but I still love him. All I want is the best for him, even when he's acting like a toddler.

Happy 'Talk Like a Pirate Day'

No, really... today is 'Talk Like a Pirate Day.' I'm not making it up.

If you don't believe me, check out this site.

And this site.

Or this one.