Some definitions
Hockey: Like figure skating, with violence.
Figure Skating: ice skates + jumpsuits and tu-tus + boring music = something like ballet but I'm not quite sure
Cricket: A retarded British version of baseball
Baseball: One team takes turns running around a diamond shaped circle while the other team stands around and waits for something exciting to happen
Snowboarding: skateboarding with snow, trees, steep hills, and no wheels
Skateboarding: Surfing on concrete, usually in places skateboarding is not allowed
Surfing: oceanic version of snowboarding, with sharks
Football: two mobs wearing shoulder pads fight over an oddly shaped ball, occasionally they end up in a dog-pile
Soccer: Like football, but with a real ball and you can't use your hands
Boxing: A bar room brawl, but legal and with rules
Basketball: Kinda like square dancing, only everyone is REALLY tall and wears squeaky shoes, it also involves an orange ball and a lot of yelling
Nascar: A bunch of people drive cars plastered with advertisements for Walmart, Cheerios, and cheap beer, there's no point to Nascar except to entertain drunk rednecks
Pro Wrestling: Bad acting + predictable scripts + big muscles = excuse for white trash to get drunk
Sumo Wrestling: like pro wrestling with fat guys no scripts and no white trash
Golf: a fashion show where the lowest score wins, birdies are good, bogies are bad, and the fans have to be quiet
Tennis: like ping-pong... on a much larger scale
Rugby: a sick and twisted mix of football, soccer, hockey, wrestling (pro and sumo), boxing, keep-away, red rover, hot potato, a round of team-slayer in Halo, and a mosh pit
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