The oddities of Sesame Street

As a father of a toddler, I am slowly getting reacquainted with the citizens of Sesame Street. It is a great show when you look at the basics. The show has talented writers who strongly grasp themes important for kids to learn and present it all in a way that does not annoy the parents who monitor what their kids watch. (Although, judging from their knack for parody and subtle humor, I would assume that much of Sesame Street's writing staff has way too much free time.)

Yet the more Christian watches Sesame Street, the more I begin to notice some unintended quirks. Here are some examples.

1. Am I the only one who notices the similarities between Elmo and Comedy Central's character Special Ed?

Maybe it's because they both say "YAAAAAAYY!" a lot. Or maybe it is the similar IQ level.

2. Big Bird is a pot-head. Really. He is too fascinated by simple things to be drug free.

3. Mr. Noodle is a child molester. C'mon - just look at the mustache - it screams CHIMO! The outfit (obnoxious bow tie, 70's era vest, pleated pants pulled too far above the waist line), the awful hair piece, every thing about him is downright creepy. He winks a lot, makes funny faces, and loiters outside of a young boy's bedroom window - pervert. SERIOUSLY! Every time I see Mr. Noodle I think that man is a convicted sex offender. And to top it off, he leads with his hip. (In theater character studies, we were taught how to portray personality in the way we walked: if your character is intelligent - lead with the forehead, if your character is prideful - lead with your chest. Characters who lead with their hip or any part of their pelvic region when they walk are lustful and motivated by sex. Not really the mental image I want to see when Elmo's World is over.

4. Bert is evil. I won't go into details, but I truly pity Ernie.

5. There is significant cultural diversity on Sesame Street. I think it is important for kids to see diversity celebrated in such a healthy and productive manor. However, I am noticing a trend in their quest for diversity. The minority kids on the show seem to be normal healthy children. The vast majority of the Latino, African American, and Asian kids seem to be typical kids (ignoring the outdated wardrobes). But the white kids? It seems like the majority of the white kids on the show have some sort of mental or physical handicap. OK, I know us white folk can't dance, and we may look goofy, but there are some of us that appear normal. Eh, maybe I'm just being too sensitive.

6. Honestly, Sesame Street is a wonderfully educational experience. Yet there is one bad habit that Sesame Street seems to propagate: bad table manners. Thank you Cookie Monster, due to your influence my son eats like a wood chipper. Aside from the poor table manners, Christian is remembering more of his shapes and colors, and quickly gaining mastery of the alphabet and - thanks to The Count - numbers & counting.

Speaking of The Count, how cool is it that there is a Vampire on Sesame Street? Not to mention one who commands such a devilishly good laugh - ah ah ah.