Faithful Geek’s guide to NFL fandom

Football season is back. I will root root root for the home team. Well, my home team. I am a local boy so my dedications will always be to Seattle teams and football is no different.

Want to know who I want to win? My formula is simple. I have every NFL team ranked from my favorite team to my least favorite. It is not based on which teams have the best offensive line or the best chances of winning. It is pure personal preference. If one Team A is higher on the list than Team B, I want Team A to win. If Team B is higher, then I want Team A to lose.

Is this a good way to predict results for each game? No. If I took this list to Vegas, I would lose a lot of money. Thankfully, I am not a betting man. This list will make me cheer for some underdogs. It is also predictable. It ensures that I will never be a fair-weather bandwagon fan.

It is my list. I’ve also included the ranking set by Business Insider for comparison with my ranking. I like who I like, let the chips fall where they may.

Starting with my favorites, these are the teams that I will always root for – unless they are playing a team ranked higher on my list.

1) *this should be no surprise* Seattle Seahawks. B.I. rank: 1 – Legion of Boom. 12th Man. Loudest stadium in the league. My hometown team.

2) Detroit Lions. B.I. rank: 17 – My dad’s cousin used to play for them. He retired years ago, but I still hope they’ll have a winning season.
3) Green Bay Packers. B.I. rank: 2 – Always a solid team. Even with Aaron Roger’s smug grin.
4) Miami Dolphins. B.I. rank: 8 – I have been a fan since the days of Dan Marino.
5) Minnesota Vikings. B.I. rank: 20 – My mom’s aunt passed on her appreciation of the Vikings to me.
6) Arizona Cardinals. B.I. rank: 16 – I am impressed with this team. Being the first team to hire a female coach made me respect them even more.
7) Kansas City Chiefs. B.I. rank: 15 – this is all about respect. They are one of the Seahawks biggest rivals, but they are also my cousin Allen’s favorite team.
8) Cincinnati Bengals. B.I. rank: 13 – this is the most frivolous addition to my favorites list. When I was a kid, I liked them for one reason only: the tiger stripe pattern on their helmets.

The second group is the “meh” list. I do not like them. I do not hate them. I do not care if they win or lose. I will cheer for them if they are playing a team in the third group and against them if they are playing a team from the first group. Otherwise, I am generally neutral to their existence.

9) Chicago Bears. B.I. rank: 25
10) Tennessee Titans. B.I. rank: 31
11) Atlanta Falcons. B.I. rank: 14
12) Carolina Panthers. B.I. rank: 26
13) Jacksonville Jaguars. B.I. rank: 32
14) Houston Texans. B.I. rank: 22
15) St. Louis Rams. B.I. rank: 10
16) Cleveland Browns. B.I. rank: 24
17) Tampa Bay Buccaneers. B.I. rank: 27
18) Buffalo Bills. B.I. rank: 11
19) Baltimore Ravens. B.I. rank: 6
20) Indianapolis Colts. B.I. rank: 4

Now for the teams I cannot stand. I will always hope for these teams to lose unless they are playing a team lower in the list. And in those cases, I wish it were possible for both teams to lose.

21) New York Jets. B.I. rank: 23 – Truth be told, I do not like any team from NYC.
22) San Diego Chargers. B.I. rank: 18 – There is something about this team that does not sit well with me and it is something that I cannot define.
23) Philadelphia Eagles. B.I. rank: 9 – I have no love for the team from the City of Brotherly Love.
24) New York Giants. B.I. rank: 19 – My reasoning here is the same as for the Jets. However, the Giants are the greater of two evils.
25) San Francisco 49ers. B.I. rank: 29 – This team used to be in my middle list. And they went into the list of teams I don’t like for two reasons: Colin Kaepernick and Jim Harbaugh. Those two killed any ability I had to cheer for this team. Harbaugh is gone and as soon as Kaepernick has moved on, I can move this team back to a higher ranking.
26) Denver Broncos. B.I. rank: 5 – Historically speaking, the Broncos were the Seahawks biggest rival. They’re also my mom’s favorite team. I feel morally obligated to dislike them. Sorry, Mom.
27) New England Patriots. B.I. rank: 3 – The Patriots used to rank higher in my list. Much higher. They were my favorite to win the Super Bowl in 2002 and they did it. But in the years since, I have grown to understand why so many other people love to hate this team. Spygate. Deflategate. Belichick’s angry stomping up and down the sidelines. Belichick’s general contempt for well, everything. But the final nail in the coffin that moved them from the top of my list to the bottom was not their win at XLIX but their behavior afterwards. They are nothing more than an out of control drunken frat house. They are the Alpha Betas.
28) Dallas Cowboys. B.I. rank: 7 – Is it trendy to hate the Cowboys? Regardless, I cannot stand them.
29) New Orleans Saints. B.I. rank: 21 – Dirty south. The team fits the image.
30) Pittsburgh Steelers. B.I. rank: 12 – If your rally cry is a terrible towel, you must be rooting for a terrible team.
31) Oakland Raiders. B.I. rank: 28 – Never liked them. Never will. I do not understand how anyone could favor this team.
32) Washington Redskins. B.I. rank: 30 – I can’t. I just can’t.