Pretty Sequel

While my mom was visiting us last weekend, the two of us spent some time talking about movies. This is something we’ve never really done before. I grew up in an evangelical denomination which didn’t allow members to see movies at the theater. My family was also poor so we couldn’t afford to own a VCR. If we watched movies at home, it was on a broadcast channel or we had to rent equipment with the VHS from the video rental store.

My mom has always supported my endeavors, even when she didn’t understand what I was doing. She is my second biggest fan, behind my wife. Sorry, dad, you get third place. She’s talked about my hobbies before and our conversations over the years have included many topics. All except movies. Partially because I was stuck watching whatever my parents watched until I was old enough to take myself to the theater, and a little because my mom and I have wildly different tastes in films. Now, as a forty-something year old cinephile having a discussion about movies with my mom for what felt like the first time ever, I suddenly transformed into a little boy excited to give his mother a bouquet of dandelions.

It started because she was watching “Hook” - the Robin Williams classic from when I was 12 years old. Rufio! Rufio! Right around the time the Lost Boys shouted “bangarang” while swinging onto Captain Hook’s ship for the climatic battle, I had an epiphany. Robin Williams was younger when filming Hook than I am today. This a-ha moment launched the talk with my mom about cinema.

Eventually the conversation drifted into one of her favorite movies. “Pretty Woman” starred a young Julia Roberts, who also played Tinkerbell alongside Williams’ Peter Pan. She heard the rumor of a possible “Pretty Woman 2” getting filmed 25 years after the original. It wouldn’t surprise me, legacy sequels are popular these days, even if lackluster.

“And in this one, she’s pregnant.” Mom said.

“Who’s pregnant?” I asked.

She responded, “Julia Roberts’ character.”

My face most likely displayed the most WTF expression possible. “Isn’t Julia past menopausal age? Like, it would be scientifically impossible for her to be pregnant.”

My mom confirmed Julia Roberts is beyond child rearing age but it’s Hollywood. She had a point. Movie logic doesn’t always conform to reality. Or science.

Thankfully, the rumors aren’t true. Even though the cast has expressed interest in reprising their roles and fans have made fake trailers and posters, no plans currently exist for a second “Pretty Woman” movie. If it’s ever green-lit, Julia Roberts suggested a plot line where Edward passes away and Vivian takes over his business empire. Well, I have a better idea. Because of course I do. I’ll even keep the fan created title.

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“Pretty Woman 2: A Second Chance” (Nic’s version)

Vivian’s whirlwind romance with Edward didn’t last. Edward continued to run his business as a bachelor and Vivian found happiness in her own work, eventually marrying a simple man and raising a child of her own. Twenty-five years after the events of the first movie, Vivian is widowed and her only son moved out for college leaving her alone for the first time in years.

She gets an unexpected call from her sister asking for help. Turns out Vivian’s niece Bridget (played by Julia Roberts’ real life niece Emma Roberts) joined Vivian’s former profession after an ugly divorce, marketing herself through sugar daddy websites. The sister reasons Vivian escaped prostitution so she’s the perfect person to help Bridget quit being a hooker. Initially, Vivian tries to take Bridget on a shopping spree (just like Vivian once did with Edward’s money) but the younger woman is unimpressed as her sugar daddy clients often gift her lavish shopping excursions.

It seems like a lost cause but a few days later, Bridget shows up at Vivian’s house in tears and reveals she’s pregnant. She says the father is a wealthy retired businessman but he doesn’t know the situation. Vivian insists she should tell the man he’s going to be a dad but Bridget is scared to go alone. Vivian accompanies her niece to share the news with Bridget’s client. They drive to a decadent condo and knock on the door. Surprise, Edward answers.

The first “Pretty Woman” was produced by Touchstone Pictures, a now defunct distribution label owned by The Walt Disney Company. Which means Disney still owns the rights to any potential sequel, spinoff, or remake. With the original cast open to reprising their roles, I think Disney has some unearned potential here.

Just in case the powers that be at Disney are interested, I’m available for hire.