I fan't type today

If today was an old school sci-fi b-movie, it would have been called The Day of the Ever Present Typo. The dogs kept me up through most of the night and I (at best) slumbered for an hour and a half before my morning alarm started ringing. The sleep deprivation of last night left me with diminished typing abilities for most of the morning. Thankfully my wife delivers coffee. The White Zombie she dropped off mid-morning is the b-movie hero that chased away the scary monsters and by noon I was finally typing straight.

But for the first half of the day, my brain felt like the eggs in that old school "this is your brain on drugs" commercial. And in that stupor, it seems there was a typo in every sentence that flowed from my fingers in an open chat session with a coworker.

Here are the greatest (worst?) typos of my day.

just ran over and grabbes sumething
yu[
too much to do today to linge

planned plas unplaned

smc donald and mdconalds (two alternate spellings of McDonald's)
ritgh?
consolidate everyone ot one floork
then move updtairs

I'm ve back (translated: I'll be back)
i'llbe vack (translated: I'll be back)
sinve the seeating situation is only a temporary problem...
permamamt
MOAR manpowre! (one of those two misspellings was intentional)
because thecnically they are absent, just plnande absent (thecnically = technically, plnande = ???)
esxactly

And if you couldn't deduce on your own, the title of this post was another typo. At least my colleague was entertained.

Eight things my oldest son needs to know on his eighth birthday

Birthdays in our family come in groups. Bekah, Zu, Bekah's mom, and one of Bekah's best friends are within a few days of each other in April. Bekah's younger sister, JJ, and Christian fall at the end of August and the beginning of September. I'm the odd man out.

But it is the beginning of September. And today is the day that marks Christian's eighth birthday. This post is for him.

Happy birthday, Kid. You're eight, do you feel old yet? Good, you're too young to feel old. But you are the big brother. That comes with some privileges and unique responsibilities. You hear your mom and I say this often but it doesn't hurt to be repetitive. You have to set a good example. On the other hand, you also get to do things first. You were the first to go to school. You were the first to go out to the movies. You will be the first to get your drivers license and the first (hopefully) to go out on a date.

But there is more to your life. And here are eight things I desperately want you to know.

1. You were a game changer. You were the tiny human that transformed your mom and I from a care free couple into responsible adults. You flipped the switch in my head that was afraid to hold a baby. Before you, I was poop-phobic. I still don't like excrement, but I'm at least willing to change a diaper - if necessary. You have brought into our life countless surprises, innumerable laughs, and more joy than I could ever label. I look forward to the ways you will transfer that ability to create change into the world outside of our family.

2. You are probably aware of this, but you are a little different than most kids. You think different. It's what some people describe as quirky. This is why adults think you are amazing but some of your peers think you're weird. As you get older, you might stand out a little more. You might have trouble fitting in with kids your age. The way your brain works makes you smarter than most, but it also makes relating to people more difficult. That's OK. You mom and I are committed to helping you be successful navigating the unspoken and often confusing rules of society. Don't let anyone tell you that you won't ever be anything because you're not normal. The way your brain works is much like many creative and talented people. You're in the same category as musicians like James Durbin, Adam Young, and Bob Dylan; Nobel Laureate Vernon Smith; writers Luke Jackson and John Elder Robison; actor Robin Williams; Bill Gates (the richest man in the world); and the guy who created Pokémon. The doors are wide open for you to do whatever you want. You could write books or make movies. You could create magnificent works of art. You could teach or preach or govern. You could solve some of the world's biggest problems. But you get to decide where you'll go. Not any other person in this world can limit you.

3. I remember the album I was listening to while driving to the hospital the night before you were born. It was R Kelly (odd choice, I know). It was his U Saved Me record. It was the only thing that I could think of at that moment that could keep my mind steady. You weren't supposed to be born yet. Your designated day of birth was supposed to be in the middle of October. There were too many things that could go wrong when a child is born so far ahead of their due date and it frightened me to think about it. So, R Kelly it was. Song after song, my nervousness settled. U Saved Me, Prayer Changes, I Surrender, How Did You Manage. Then I heard these lyrics, "These are the questions asked before I lay me down and go to sleep, Sometimes I wonder why you decided to keep you hands on me. Of all the miracles, signs and wonders, There's still one mystery, How did you manage to love me?" At that point I knew that everything was going to be OK. And everything was more than OK. You turned out great.

4. That thing I said earlier about the way you think making you smarter than most? I wasn't kidding. You are freakishly smart. Genetics help. You have parents that are both intelligent. Between your grandparents, they received a Masters degree, a pastoral degree, and a Juris Doctorate. Your great grandparents achieved great things in mechanics, education, and the military. You come from fantastic genes. However, it wouldn't surprise me if you outshine us all. You were doing simple arithmetic when you were three. You were adding and multiplying fractions while in kindergarten. You've all ready written your first story that fit the arc used in most traditional storytelling. Your mind recognizes patterns and sequences. By the time you were old enough to talk you could tell the difference between a macaroni penguin, an empire penguin, and a rockhopper penguin. Your head is full of scientific facts, bible stories, the plots to all of your favorite movies, and random bits of trivia. You hunger and thirst for knowledge. Your memory amazes me.

5. There is a reason we got you a Kindle for your birthday. You devour books. We want to encourage your reading addiction. However, we do not have the space in our home to warehouse a grand library that is worthy of your love for books. Thankfully, technology allows us to logistically and economically feed your addiction of the written word. I hope and pray your never lose that passion for reading.

6. I dare you to dream big dreams. It is my intention to expose you to as much of this world as I am able. As time and budget allows, there are things to do and places to see that will expand your horizons. Someday, when you grow up, you are going to go out and chase your dreams. You will go further and do more on your own. And I can't wait to hear all of the amazing stories you bring home.

7. If you haven't yet figured it out, your daddy loves watching movies. It is one of my favorite things to do with you. I am a movie geek and I am excited to geek out with you when it comes to film. But I don't want to just watch movies with you. I want you to learn from them. The theater is more than shiny lights and a couple hours of entertainment. There are life lessons to be learned that I am not experienced enough to teach you on my own. So don't be shocked when I ask you, "What was the moral of that story?" Or "What were the people who made that film trying to tell us?" I will ask you those questions, and many more. There is a file on my computer that has a list of movies that I want to watch with you (I really am a nerd when it comes to movies). Some of them are my favorite movies of all time. Some of them are considered the best ever made. But not all. We began to watch them this past summer (like The Goonies), but some you aren't old enough to watch yet and a few I won't let you watch until you are much older. Just be prepared, there is a reason we're watching these movies.

8. Be brave. I know that isn't always easy. Whether it is jumping off of the dock at the lake, or trying a new food, bravery is not your strong suit. You are timid. I understand. You got that from me. If there is a lesson I've learned late in life that I wish you will learn at a younger age, it is this. You are capable of more than you give yourself credit for. You are stronger than you realize. You are bigger than any problem you may face. You have an admirable faith in God. You have a family that loves you. Your mom and I will always be there to support you. You have nothing to fear.

Feliz cumpleaños, gute zum Geburtstag, fantastisk bursdag. I love you.

Summer Soundtrack

Last weekend was the unofficial end to summer, with the holiday weekend and the kids returning to school. Fall might not technically start until the Autumnal Equinox for another couple of weeks; summer is - for all practical purposes - over. And I think the universe is taking notice.

Zu returned from her first day of school with a crisp brown leaf in her hand. She held it out to me and said, "The first leaf of fall has fallen and I picked up just for you."

We had a great summer: finalizing the purchase of and moving into our new house, a few fantastic evenings at the beach, and two family road trips. I've been listening to a ton of great music this summer too. With that being said, I'm doubling down on my Five for Friday post. The following 10 songs were the soundtrack to our summer.

Grouplove - Tongue Tied - The oldest track on my list, Tongue Tied is infectious. Leaves me with the feeling of backyard barbecues, hanging out with a house full of friends, and singalongs around a campfire.

Samestate - Hurricane - This song is also about a year old, but we've been hearing it a lot this past summer. It somehow reminds me of both days at the beaches along the Puget Sound and times I spent climbing in the Cascades.

The Head and the Heart - Down in the Valley - This is one of my favorite new bands to come out over the past year or so. Down in the Valley doubles as a great road trip song and a gentle lullaby.

Je’kob - Love Is All - When I first heard this song it was like a 2x4 to the back of the head. A rare timely song that speaks to current events with the upcoming election and state of discord in our society; yet it's catchy, upbeat, and hopeful. I can't help but crank the volume every time this comes on the radio.

NEEDTOBREATHE - Keep Your Eyes Open - This is my summer anthem. Pulsing driving drum beat, hypnotic piano riff, soaring guitars... that and Bear Rinehart's vocals remind me of campfires, dirt roads, creeks and rivers flowing from glacial melt, and alpine meadows.

Lecrae - Church Clothes - The Church Clothes is one of the best rap albums I've heard in a long time and easily the best of 2012. This is summer in the city.

Owl City - Shooting Star - Zu adores Owl City. And I adore that she adore's Owl City. This may be her favorite song in the world right now. Any time she hears this, she just sings loud and unashamed. This is one of those songs that will interrupt conversation in our car as we're driving around so that everyone can sing along. That has happened several times this summer.

Phillip Phillips - Home - This song is unlike any other coronation song in American Idol's history. While most songs released as the winner's first single has a "yay me" message and is vocal heavy, Home has more of an outward perspective and focused on a holistic sound balancing singing and instrumentation. This song is all backwoods, country roads, and open highway.

The Lumineers - Ho Hey - This is another song that reminds me of a bunch of friends sitting around a campfire, passing around an acoustic guitar, and singing songs of love and hope.

Owl City - Good Time - Another entry from Owl City. Another song you'll catch my daughter singing at the top of her lungs. This is pure bubblegum pop music - especially with the presence of Carly Rae Maybe adding her vocals. This might be a guilty pleasure kind of song, but if it doesn't scream summertime fun... What does?

*** Honorable Mention***

Of Monsters and Men - Little Talks - Quite often on repeat this summer... but not quite worthy of my top 10.

Range of Motion

Please raise your right hand if you take the use of your right hand for granted. If you could see me now, you would notice that my right hand is not raised. That is because, at this moment, I am not able to lift that hand much higher than the surface of my kitchen counter. If I try to raise my hand any higher, it feels as if my hand weighs 200 pounds.

What happened? Well, that's a long and unfortunate tale. A sob story, really.

It started after we got home from Cheyenne. Both Bekah and I caught some nasty summer cold; both us experiencing the same symptoms in near unison. It was no ordinary cold; it was the most foul, cruel, and bad-tempered virus you ever set eyes on. It had a vicious streak a mile wide.

It took us two weeks to defeat this uncommon cold. I spent most of that time in a brutal coughing phase. It was as if I was trying to exorcise some demon illness from the deepest darkest recesses of my lungs.

But I still had to function. I still had a day job and kids to feed/entertain. I still had housekeeping duties to attend. Despite the coughing and sneezing and general miserableness of being sick, I reorganized my office to accommodate a new (to me) giant television and helped Bekah move and load some furniture for a booth at the North Idaho Fair.

At the point where I was finally regaining my health, I discovered a sharp ache in my neck. A nagging pestering sensation that would not go away. It started with stiffness on Wednesday and turned into a pain on Thursday that felt like someone had stabbed me with a turkey baster. I tried to sleep it off thinking that rest would help me relax away the soreness. No. I felt worse after a Thursday afternoon nap and hurt more when I awoke on Friday. By Saturday, I could endure no more and visited a doctor that afternoon.

The result? I either pulled or strained my scalene muscles, causing the right side of my neck to be in a state of constant spasm. I'm not certain of how it happened - either the violent ten day coughing fit, the lifting and moving of furniture, or both. Regardless, the doc sent me home with a prescription for some muscle relaxants and a 20 minute rotating heat pack/cold compress routine.

As my neck loosened and I started to feel human again, a new complication arose. Due to the tension in my neck for the past week, my latissimus dorsi and deltoid muscles had been over compensating. They are now fatigued and spasming.

I can't win.

With the meat below my armpit and above my bicep tight and nearly frozen in place, it makes moving my arm a comical impracticality. The tension in my side and shoulder act like miniature bungee cords pulling my arm with a a force more powerful than gravity. It isn't painful, just annoying. And fantastic entertainment for my colleges.

My range of motion has been drastically reduced. I reach for something and my arm just stops half way to the object of my desire. I try to point in a waving motion and I look like the T-Rex in Meet the Robinsons. I try to do anything I normally would do as a righty and end up using my left hand instead. And I feel like Quasimodo. Like I said, great entertainment.

Why do I share this long winded and humiliating saga? Because I am reminded how easy it is to assume that your body will always function normally. I can't help but think of friends - both those from my childhood and those that I regularly talk to now - that were born with noticeable physical disabilities.

When I think about my interactions with these friends, I see that they've not only survived - they have thrived with less than I was given. Consider this my self deprecating way of saying I admire the strength of my friends who were born flawed but live abundantly. You are all stronger men than I.

Four things my son needs to know on his fourth birthday

Yesterday was the last day of August, the final Friday night before the kids head back to school, and my youngest son's birthday. This is post is for him.


This has been a big year for you JJ. You moved into a new house. You figured out how to go potty all by yourself. And you're starting to get the hang of pedaling your bike. In a couple of days you're going back to preschool. It's a great big scary world out there, so before you jump in feet first there are a few things I'd like you to know.

1. You are a fighter. You being here today is proof of how hard you've had to fight for your very existence. For most your four years, you've had to fight to be able to breathe, fight to eat (and to keep the food down), fight to communicate and be understood. The first year you were with us was one long battle with more hospitalizations than I dare to count. You are the strongest kid I know. These days you've got breathing, eating, talking mastered. In fact, I think you've dominated talking and eating. But you're still fighting; only now you fight with your brother and sister. Sometimes it appears like you're enjoying that skirmish a little too much. My hope is that, as you grow older, you'll learn what things are worth fighting for, and what is better to let go.

2. You are fearless. You are the kid that jumps down the stairs from a couple steps higher than all the other kids. You grab sports equipment you've never handled before and march onto the field as if you were a seasoned pro. You will taste any food we place in front of you at least once. Your most common phrase is "Let me try." If I'm honest with you, your bravery scares the crap out of me. I imagine the future you is going to be the kid that will jump off a roof because your friends dared you to do it. You're going to think you're invincible. You're going to attempt to make everyone believe you can fly. I worry about the infinite ways that you might hurt yourself. Please, I beg of you, be smart. But be daring. Don't ever let my reservations prevent you from being awesome.

3. You are the king of the non sequitur. I could ask you, "How was your day?" and your answer might include questions about what we're having for dinner, comments about my appearance, your favorite color, something that your sister said yesterday, and a knock knock joke. You may or may not answer my question but your reply will be delivered with a smile. You change topics without stopping for a breath - and sometimes in the middle of a sentence. Your knock knock jokes are the best. They're completely nonsensical and the definition of random. To date, your most popular joke goes like this.
You: Knock knock
Me: Who's there?
You: Chicken cow.
Me: Chicken cow who?
You: Chicken cow on your face.
You then proceed to chortle like a maniacal super-villain plotting to take over the world. It will be a sad day when you stop telling those jokes.

4. You are a charmer. You might get a thrill out of pestering your siblings. Often, your mom and I don't know what to do with you. We love you, but we also get to see all of your faults on a daily basis. The rest of the world, however, you never cease to woo them. Whether it's your rock-star pose or your pouty face, people everywhere think you're delightful. I won't argue with them. You are a freakishly cute kid. The outside world gets to see the best parts of you. They see your flawless hair, your whimsical eyes, and your mischievous smile. You ham it up for cameras. And you bask in the lauding attention of friends, family, and strangers. You have great powers. My wish is that you only use these powers for good, and not for evil.

Happy birthday J-Funk.



ps: about that pouty face.
It is absurd how cute it is when you pout. Arms crossed, shoulders hunched, one foot stomped in indignation, head down with your eyes staring up to see who's paying attention. It won't be cute if you still do this as a teenager, but for now it's adorable. When you stomp that foot down and turn your back with that audible "HMMPHHFFF" sound you make, it take every fiber in my being to not burst into laughter. At most you might see a grin on the outside, but inside I'm laughing.

Animal Selection

Yes, we went to the aquarium in Seattle. And yes, each of our kids walked away with a new plush creature. A certain family member couldn't resist the pleading and puppy dog eyes.

Like good children, they each picked a different species. As their parent, I am thankful for that decision as it will help us bypass all of the "It's mine/No, it's MINE" arguments.

Christian got a shark.

Zu got a river otter.

JJ got a puffin.

I think their choices speak clearly about the character of each of my kids. But what do their selections say?

Serendipity

We've spent the evening watching home movies. More specifically, clips from Bekah's family and all her cousins during a family reunion in 1993. She was 10 at the time and sporting the worst of 90's fashion.

Lots of laughs were spent. Jokes cracked. Much mockery. Until Bekah's mom mentioned that all of the kids were so much cuter back then - which prompted the following conversation.

Me to Bekah: "Had I known you back then (I would have been 14) I would never have wanted anything to do with you."

Bekah to me: "That's OK. You're just lucky I still married you after I saw a picture of you (taken in '94) in a wrestling singlet."

Tidbits

Need a break?

A friend or coworker just returned home from vacation and you ask them, "How was it?" Their response: "I need a vacation from my vacation."

Sound familiar? It seems the American way is to cram so much activity and excitement into our vacations that you return more energetically diminished than after a typical week at home and work.

Our recent family excursion is a bit unique in that respect.

First, this trip we made to Cheyenne was fairly laid back. This is the first I have ever returned from a week of paid time off relaxed and refreshed. By the time well pulled into our driveway last Saturday, I was ready to launch back into my regular routine.

Furthermore, this is the first time that I actually get to take a vacation from my vacation. We got home from Cheyenne last weekend, and we're taking a weekend road trip to Seattle next weekend.

---

Input Overload

Speaking of too much activity and excitement, that's how Christian feels.

While in Wyoming, Christian met more family members than he knew existed, learned from my genealogist grandfather that we're descendants of John Alden, and got a four generation family tree drawn out that detailed every member of the Budd family from my grandparents down through my cousins and our kids.

We spent an afternoon at Children's Village, exploring the gardens and fountains; learning about aerodynamics, solar power, and wind power; and using the hands on demonstrations of waterwheels and Archimedes' screw. The next day, we split our afternoon between the Wyoming State Museum and the Cheyenne public library.

By the time we were done, Christian had had his fill of mental stimuli. He could not handle any more. He even told us that we were stuffing too much into his brain.

"I've learned so much stuff," he said, "my brain is full."

---

Something isn't right

Being home means that I have resumed my normal schedule. However, that normalcy includes staying up far too late and leaving for work before anyone else in my house wakes up.

I don't care who you are, such a lifestyle will catch up with you. It caught up with me this week.

When I arrived at work, I parked my green Ford Explorer under a tree along the back fence. When I left work, I tried to get into a green Ford Explorer parked under a tree along the back fence, but the key would not unlock the door. Wrong green Ford Explorer parked under a different tree.

I went to bed early after that.

---

Fall of grace

I wouldn't describe myself as clumsy, but I do have my moments. Lacking in rhythm? Yes. A complete inability to dance? Yes. Uncoordinated? Maybe. But a klutz? Not usually.

But I do have moments of ungraceful greatness. Earlier this week, I overstepped the final carpeted step before the stairway tops out at hardwood floors. I stumbled and fell up the stairs. In the process, I managed to stub toes on both feet (I was barefoot at the time) and bang both of my shins - all on the same wooden transition strip between the carpet and hardwood. Then I landed flat on my face.

Yes, I am that talented.

---

Apt analogy

About my utter lack of dancing skills... When explaining my mad dance moves to a coworker, I compared myself to a fat kid with tourettes being chased by a swarm of angy wasps through an obstacle course.

You don't believe me? Sorry, I am not going to shake my groove thing in public just to prove that I dance like a penguin with two broken legs and a severe case of vertigo. I prefer to embarrass myself in the privacy of my own home.

Cheyenne bests

As I write this, we are holed up in a cheap hotel room on the south side of Billings. Tomorrow night, we will be home after 5 days in Cheyenne. Here are our favorite moments from the trip.

JJ: "Going to Great-Grandma's house." He also listed the fighter fighter's station (fire station), library, and museum as the best parts of our week. Once I narrowed down what 'favorite' means, he said his favorite destination was the pool. "Getting in the pool and getting wet."

Zu: "Uh... Seeing Nannie and Rachel every time." She also clarified that her saddest part is when we had to leave.

Christian: "Putting my whole entire body under water while swimming. I did do that, remember?" He definitely enjoyed dunking his head under water. It stood out as more enjoyable than any other activity.

Bekah: Off the top of her head, she can't think of anything. In her words, "I don't like being put on the spot." But she did enjoy a very special delivery from her older sister. She has also commented on a couple occasions that she is impressed that our kids behaved so admirably throughout the week.

Me: Seeing a more modern side of Cheyenne. Growing up, my childhood vacations in Cheyenne were adventures. Compared to my Seattle suburb home, Cheyenne was still a frontier town. Unpaved roads, rodeos, old homes and buildings that served to enhance my parent's memories of years past, everything brown and spread out. Most of my memorable experiences were from playing in the yard and basement of my mom's childhood home, or of the the Frontier Days parade and pancake feed. But on this trip, I saw modernization everywhere. My aunt and uncle's recently constructed home in a new neighborhood. Children's Village - a self sustaining park and garden designed to teach kids about basic scientific concepts, alternative energy resources, art and engineering, and the beauty of our natural world. The children's level of the library and their hands on/interactive exhibits that encourage reading, music, and creativity - and displays simple mechanical processes and cause/effect. Updated parks and green spaces. In public places, the city highlights all that they're doing to reduce water waste, recycle, focus on renewable energy, and encourage environmentally focused citizens.

The favorite niece

Niece R: (to Bekah) "You look like you're 22."
Bekah: "Why, thank you. That's the nicest thing anyone has told me in a long time."
Niece R: "It's because of your hair cut. It make you look young."
Bekah: "How old do you think I am?"
Niece R: "25?"
Bekah: "You might just be my favorite niece."

Vacation begins now

Earlier this week, I posted a picture of our overly detailed road trip itinerary on Instagram. A friend of mine commented, "how organized (OCD) are you?"

For the record, I do have some strong OCD tendencies. No, really, I do. But we're also travelling with kids on the autism spectrum. Life with autism is better when there's a plan.

While the potential for an aspie styled meltdown imploding while nearly 1000 miles away from home is enough to pause any parent with a sliver of trepidation, there are other things that make me nervous about this trip.

Here are five things that make the idea of cramming my family into a car for a multi-day journey worries me.

1. Space. Our SUV holds seven passengers. There's enough room to spread out our kids and mitigate a majority of sibling quarreling. However, it also gets horrid gas mileage. So we're trading cars with my mother-in-law (who will also be dog-sitting/house-sitting for us). Her car will double the miles we can travel on one gallon of gasoline. It will also place our three children shoulder to shoulder for the entire time spent in the vehicle.

2. Boredom. Like most kids, ours are at their worst when they're bored. However, boredom drives most kids to be restless - possibly annoying. Ours just get destructive. It's all fun and games until someone gets hurt. And someone always gets hurt, even if it's just their feelings.

3. Differences. Bekah and I have very different definitions of what happens on road trips. My idea of perfect road trips is driving with the music turned up with poppy songs so that I can sing along. Bekah's opinion is that road trips should be filled with conversation, from the time you leave your driveway until you reach your destination. She's not wrong, it's a lovely idea. But I'm a horrible conversationalist - the same is true with the one person I love more than any other in this world. I suck at conversing for extended periods of time. I'm also narcoleptic when I'm not driving.

4.Uncertainty. The drive from here to there is planned out to the littlest detail. Every moment of the trip is plotted. Once we get there, events are not so certain. We have plans set for three of the five days that we're there. But the other two? Eh? And we do not have anything predetermined for the drive home. This lack of vacation strategy might work for most families, but in ours no scheme leads to problem number two (see above).

5. JJ. The kid is, to some extent, a bully. I'm not sure how it happened because I was not a bully when I was growing up. Despite being the youngest of our three, he derives a certain pleasure from making his brother and/or sister cry. Other people find him well behaved, adorable, and endearing in a million ways. He is, but not always. I just hope his aggression stays within the immediate family. Or is left at home. He can be sweet. He can be charming. That's the kid that I hope shows up in Cheyenne.

Some kind of kid's book

I found this delightful book while shopping at Fred Meyer.

This monkey like creature extols all of the wonders of a book to his friend, a donkey. The donkey keeps asking if books have all of the same features of electronic devices. And while the monkey thing verifies that books don't play games, don't scroll, don't have mouse buttons, and you can't blog from one, the monkey still convinces the donkey that books are better than electronic devices.

How?

By letting the donkey read the book.

Like I said, a delightful book. But then there's the last page.

Yes, that does say what you think it says.

Stylist vs Groomer

Zu: "Where's Momma going?"
Me: "She has a hair appointment."
Christian: "What's a hair appointment?"
Me: "It is when Momma goes to get her hair cut and styled."
Christian: "Do I need a hair cut?"
Me: "Yes, I will give you and JJ one before we go to Cheyenne."
Zu: "I don't need a hair appointment."
Me: "No you don't."
Christian: "Why can't I have a hair appointment?
Me: "You don't need one; I can cut your hair."
Christian: "Why?"
Me: "Because girl hair is more complicated than boy hair. Boy hair is easy to cut."
Zu: "Sometimes, Momma cuts my hair. But sometimes, she takes me to the groomer."

Deliverance

At work this morning, a coworker/friend was talking about his weekend in Hauser Lake. Another coworker expressed some distaste for Hauser residents and mentioned their bursting population of rednecks. (For my Seattle area friends, Hauser is to Coeur d'Alene what Granite Falls is to Everett.)

"You know you've reached Hauser," he said, "when you hear the banjos playing."

That reminded me of the guy that lives across the cul-de-sac from our old house that picks at his banjo from the steps of his front porch throughout the summer. As soon as good weather permits outdoor instrumentation, he'll be there every evening, playing a bluegrass tune. But that's in Hayden, not Hauser.

I explained the scenario to my coworkers. Frankly, that's one of the things I'll miss now that we've moved. I enjoy the sound of a good banjo player, as long as they're not plucking out the melody of Dueling Banjos.

I told them, "The fist sign that warmer weather arrived is when my neighbor would sit out on his porch, playing his banjo."
My coworker replied, "That would be the first sign of me moving."

Missing Rich

My son and I are reading through Home, a collection of columns Rich Mullins wrote for a magazine from '91-'96. It's great for Christian's vocabulary as Rich used big words like splendor, providence, undaunted, and parameters. Words that stretch beyond what you would normally hear uttered from the lips of a typical seven (almost eight) year old boy. Yet, Rich wrote with such a simplicity that his concepts are as easily understood by elementary children as they are relevant to adult audiences.

It's a joy to see Christian's eyes widen with recognition that Rich Mullins is the author of some of the songs he's learned in church. I'm encouraged to share Rich's wisdom with my son and using this book to teach Christian valuable lessons that he'll take with him through the rest of his life. Simple lessons, like it's difficult to win an argument by arguing - that even when you're right, you often still lose. Counsel that it's acceptable to be afraid sometimes - that even adults get scared. Admonition to be grateful for the ability to hear music and see the beauty of our world.

Every time we read, I can't help but ponder how great a treasure we lost when Rich was killed in a car crash nearly 20 years ago. I remember how his faith was so plainly evident but never obnoxious or overbearing. How he possessed an unending compassion for the the poor, the hurt, the broken, and the downtrodden. How he freely poured love into people who many viewed as unworthy of such love. His humility. His deliberate attempts to avoid the traps of Christian celebrity. How he was able to get a room full of Nazarenes (God's frozen chosen) to dance. How he would only except a salary payment of the average American and have any profit above that amount donated to charity.

If protestant churches observed sainthood like the catholic church, I'm certain that Rich Mullins would qualify for veneration. I miss his music. I miss his ministry. And I appreciate his legacy.

Most prominently featured in my memory is his work with the Navajo Nation. He spent the latter years of his life living on the reservation, teaching music to Native school kids in Tse Bonito. After his death, his family founded The Legacy Of A Kid Brother Of St. Frank to teach music, theater, and art to Native American youth on remote reservations.

As the father of two Native American kids, I often wish we had more people like Rich Mullins alive and working in our churches, ministries, and non-profit organizations. The modern church could use more people like him - grounded in selflessness and dedicated to reach what the bible calls "the least of these."

I believe there is still an important lesson to be learned from his writings and music. One that could be understood in the lyrics of one of Rich Mullin's most popular and recognizable songs: Awesome God.

We sometimes forget that the same God that unleashed his wrath against Sodom and Gomorrah also showed mercy and compassion to whores and harlots. We forget that the same Jesus who criticized religious snobs and condemned the rich and powerful also played with children and dined with the outcasts of society.

We have trouble reconciling the varied aspects of who God is. We tell the stories of a savior who walked on water and calmed stormy seas. Then we fail to explain why tragedy happens. Even now, with 54 active wildfires currently raging in the US, we don't know how to respond. We believe that God controls the wind and the air currents swirling in the atmosphere. So how do we avoid blaming God for this disaster? It's too easy to say He's at fault for starting the blazes, or at least responsible for allowing the fires to burn while He has the power to extinguish them. The rationale that God is judging us through natural disaster is born of either a callous naïveté or wanton spite for some undeserving target.

I can't blame God for the fires that are spread across our nation. I refuse to accept that these wildfires are the result of a vengeful God trying to teach us a lesson. I can't imagine what abandonment of logic could say that any population deserves God's wrath - especially considering how I have family and colleagues in Colorado and Wyoming.

Granted, no one (that I know of) is throwing God under the bus with our current natural crisis. But it has happened in years past. There are the notorious televangelists who decreed that God as trying to teach us a lesson on 9/11. Or during Hurricane Katrina. Or after the Boxing Day tsunami. The earthquakes in Haiti, Washington DC, and Japan.

The way I see it, those disasters do nothing to display God's vengeance - instead it is an awesome demonstration of mother nature's undiscriminating power. If there is any lesson that God wishes us to learn in the face of nature's fury - it is that whatever is destroyed can also be rebuilt. We are seeing the fruits of that lesson at Ground Zero. We see it in New Orleans. We see it in Joplin Missouri. We see it across Tōhoku's fractured Pacific coastline. Wherever we see earth's violence, we also see the resiliency of human kind.

I think this is part of what Rich had in mind when he wrote Awesome God. I never met the man, so I can't say for sure, but I'd be willing to bet that he was very intentional in selecting how he would phrase those lyrics.

Our God is an awesome God, He reigns
Note that Rich didn't call him and angry God, or a vengeful God. But awesome. Worthy of inspiring awe.

He reigns... with wisdom, power, and love
This is the root of God's motivation: wisdom, power, and love. Not condemnation, retribution, or animosity.

Yet, we as Christians do still believe that God is capable of dishing out catastrophic punishment. Rich even concedes this mindset in his song, however he follows the mention of judgment and wrath with a promise of mercy and grace.

Yes, I believe that God will one day hold all people accountable for the lives they led. But I also believe that He will do this with grace and compassion that I am unable to comprehend. I know that I am not the judge of all mankind. If I were, Hell would be a more popular destination.

God is the judge. I am willing to let him have that role. And when disaster strikes, my faith tells me that He is in control. I trust that all things work together for the good. I rest in the promise that all men will be judged by God's measure. Not by Pat Robertson's values. Not by Harold Camping's predictions. Not by Fred Phelps's determination. And not by my own standard. I conclude that it is God - and only God - who can see into a man's heart and rule with justice.