Noah Clause

It is not yet Halloween, but the Christmas decorations have arrived. When decorative skeletons are hung beside mistletoe, this visual assault on the senses is not only disorienting, but could also create some holiday confusion.

I often wonder how these merry mash-ups (Thanks-Chauna-Christma-Kwanza-Hallo-weenika) might appear through the eyes of a three year old. Thankfully, I just happen to have a three year old to tell me.

While walking through Sears, we came upon a blow-up Santa. It was one of those obnoxious jumbo-sized yard decorations - tacky yard trash that over eager Tim Allen types find elegant. Taking the opportunity to test Christian's holiday recognition skills, Bekah asks our toddler who the inflated figure represented. (Logic being, if the kid can tell the difference between a fur seal and a harp seal, surely he would recognize Jolly Ol' Saint Nick!)

"Christian," Bekah points at the air-filled Chris Kringle and asks, "who's that?"

Christian has the answer, so he smiles and says "Noah!"

* * * *

Ah, yes. I'm sure when Clement Clarke Moore envisioned Noah, he saw a chubby (plump), bearded fat man with rosy cheeks and sparkling eyes - dressed in fur with a tobacco pipe stump held tight in his clenched teeth.

* * * *

In other flood news, our youth pastor put a new spin on this classic Bible story: God basically spit an the earth and everyone died - except for one family and a bunch of animals.

Yes, I do enjoy being a youth leader.


  1. Anonymous8:12 PM

    Just be thankful that Christian did not say, "Methuselah" in all of his infinite wisdom. dad

  2. "God Spit" Huh? Here I've always heard preachers say that spit is anointed...

  3. I saw a Santa when I was young and reportedly said that it was Moses. MMM... I eventually did get it straight!