It is out: the 100 worst songs (according to AOL) ever recorded.*
Skimming through the list, there are some obvious choices. Songs that deserve their place in the history of the most atrocious sounds ever produced by pop culture. Hollaback Girl (will drive you bananas), My Humps (I don't see how referring to your womanly features as humps, lumps, or junk is attractive in any form), How Bizarre (or as OMC sings/raps in the song 'Howbih zuh'), and Laffy Taffy (the song that makes Pac and Biggie turn in their graves).
But I must admit, about half of these songs have found a home in my iTunes library. Granted, some of them are obligatory possessions of a former DJ (Blue Da Ba Dee, Gettin' Jiggy Wit It, Mambo No. 5). A few are songs I truly enjoy and can not fathom why they're on that list.
These are my five favorite supposedly worst songs ever.
1. One Week. The tongue twisting lyrics, cheeky references to Sailor Moon, The X-Files, Sting, and Harrison Ford... this song is a nugget of pop-music goodness. Toss in a sing-along chorus and this should be on best of the 90s lists.
2. Breakfast at Tiffany's: Another 90s gem, but this time a one hit wonder. Despite the implausible concept, the song is catchy and filled with more melody than 75% of the other songs on this list.
3. We Didn't Start the Fire. OK, I'll admit it. This really is a bad song. This is where one of the greatest songwriters of the 70s and 80s ran out of ideas and decided to string a bunch of words together like throwing mud on a Plexiglas window in hopes that something sticks. But I still like it.
4. Tubthumping. Yes, I realize that this song is about imbibing in far too much alcohol. Yet it never fails to bring a smile to my face when I hear it. The only thing I can't stand is the creepy baby with the photoshopped smile on the album cover.
5. I'm Gonna Be (500 Miles). This, without question, should not be on this list. Unless you hold to the snobbish belief that quirky equals bad. And this is not just my superior taste in music speaking. This opinion of mine is universally shared by music fans everywhere. This song is one of the best love songs ever, one of the best uses of song in a movie soundtrack, a pop-rock anthem, and one of the most beloved songs in modern alternative music. It's been covered by punks (MxPx) jam bands (Phish) and a highly successful contemporary Christian artist (Steven Curtis Chapman).
The existence of I'm Gonna Be throws the rest of the list into question. Then again, Make 'Em Say Uhh and Popozao are both on that list and are absolutely horrid tunes. So maybe the list should be called 80 of the worst songs ever plus 20 that show the music critics at AOL Radio are jaded and hate normal people.
*A big hat tip to Liz for posting the link to the list on facebook last night