Unbalanced

Wii Fit judges you. It says stuff like "you're shaky" and "quick reactions aren't your thing, are they?" If you gain weight from one day to the next, it asks you to explain the reason for the weight gain. If you need to reel in a prodigious ego, play Wii Fit. It will make you feel old and overweight.

If you're just starting in Wii Fit, there are a few things that must be completed before you're allowed to play games where you flap your arms like a chicken or awkwardly swing your hips to support virtual hula hoops. You must enter your birth date and height. Then the balance board weighs you. The board checks your ability to balance evenly through a series of tests and mini-games. Once this is completed, the game makes a few snaky remarks before giving you you're weight, BMI, and Wii-Fit age (a hypothetical number based on your real age compared to how poorly you performed in the preceding tests).

Christian's first day with the Wii Fit was today. Age and shortness given, tests taken, results received. After completing the tests, the game told Christian that he was unbalanced. No surprise. I read the game's sarcastic dialog aloud to Christian.

"It says: 'Balance isn't your thing, is it. Do you find yourself tripping over things?'"

Christian answered, "No..."

A benefit for parents of kids with aspergers, they're horrible liars. After a brief pause, Christian admitted the truth about tripping. He looked at the TV, back at me, then back at the TV. He hung is head in the closest thing to embarrassment that an aspie kid will ever know.

"Yeah. I do." He said.