I've come to the conclusion that it isn't enough to call someone lazy. Just lazy, on it's own, is too general a description. Here are five more specific terms to describe what kind of lazy someone is. In case you're wondering, I have been plagued with each of these at some point in the past few weeks. It should also be noted that I meant to post this yesterday, but I went to bed instead.
1. The Sloth - This is the first and most obvious of all variations. In nature, the sloth is a slow moving animal. Religiously speaking, Sloth is one of the deadly sins - one that most recognize as the very definition of laziness. Yet, when delving into what it means to be lazy The Sloth is so much more than just a lazy person. Classical Christian thought defined slothfulness as a complete emotional or spiritual apathy, inactive physically or emotionally, or possessing some measure of carelessness. It is The Sloth who doesn’t act because they just don’t have any longing to do so. They lack interest or motivation. The purpose to act is lost and any actual action is done with minimal effort and attention.
2. The Procrastinator - There is that idiom, “Why put off until tomorrow what you could do today.” Procrastination states, “Why do today what you can put off until tomorrow.” But a true Procrastinator says, “Why not put off today what I can also put off tomorrow?” Anything can be done later. Piers Steel, a Canadian psychologist, proved that sentiment with a scientific sounding formula: the expectation of success times the value of completion divided by the immediacy of the task times personal sensitivity to delay equals a person’s desire to complete the task. In other words - high expectations and low immediacy will probably result in the likely hood of delay. But more immediacy or greater sensitivity will prompt action. It’s all a fancy way of saying “I’m not going to do it until I absolutely have to.” In other words, not now.
3. The Shiny - The Shiny is all about distraction. The desire to act is eclipsed by Attention Deficit Diss… Oh, shiny watch. Is it new? It must be because did you hear about that father that covertly wired his son so that he could tape the kid’s teachers? They were berating him because he has Autism. And I can’t wait to see the new Avengers movie. It looks awesome like that new restaurant - Cafe Rio. They're delicious. The Shiny wants to make progress. But there are too many other things that are all far more interesting to actually complete anything.
4. The Glacier - On the surface, it looks like The Glacier is immobile. It looks like a do-nothing force. But they are moving, only at an almost imperceptible pace. Glaciers are also destructive; grinding rocks down to pebbles and carving out moraines, cirques, and tarns. Geologists will tell you that much of North America's landscapes were created by glaciers. When people are Glaciers, they might be capable of completing beautiful works or accomplishing great tasks. It will just take them a long time to do so.
5. The Obstructionist - This is the most obstinate of all lazy derivatives. The Obstructionist is willfully lazy. Action is not taken, not from a lack of desire, but a strong desire to not act. There are excuses, roadblocks, feigned ignorance, and occasional defiance. The Obstructionist is possibly the worst of all lazy types because the harder you push the more they resist.
ps: My wife would like to add that she's annoyed by my laziness and wants me to stop.
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