Every Friday night through the month of October, my kids and I have been watching scary (ish) family movies. The Addams Family. Coraline. The Nightmare Before Christmas. Little Monsters. If you follow me on Twitter, you’ve seen me live-tweeting along with the movies. Observations. Commentary. Memories. For those of you who do not follow me there, here is what you’ve missed.
The Addams Family
• 'Tis the season for family appropriate scary movies. Introducing the kids to The Addams Family.
• I forgot how brilliant Raúl Juliá was in acting. He owns every line.
• "Dirty pool, old man. I like it."
• Reason to worry about Gomez: he coughs up blood, but not like he used to.
• Antennas in a lightning storm. I laugh, my daughter rolls her eyes.
• My brother used to look like Fester Addams. Pretty sure Aaron even dressed up as Uncle Fester for Halloween one year.
• So many details I missed when I was younger. Like Granny reading from Gray's Anatomy & The Joy of Cooking for her recipes.
• "You dance in the graveyard." What a wonderful way of saying you live a blessed life.
• Time to dance the Mamushka!
• "That's the spirit, Thing. Lend a hand." Brilliant. Thing ... a hand ... Ha!
• Are your Girl Scouts cookies made from real Girl Scouts?
• The motel has "kitchins."
• I wish someone with programming skills could make a version of Frogger featuring Thing running through Traffic.
• "Wake the dead!" You have to dig.
• Movie night is over. Kids are all in bed. But 2 of 3 were asleep before the closing credits. Not sure how they slept through my laughter.
Coraline
• Halloween movies with the kids begins now. This week, it's Coraline.
• The opening credits of Coraline can only be described with one word: melancholy.
• "I don't have time for you right now." Crappy parenting 101.
• "I'm glad you're not like the parents in Coraline." Stuff my daughter says.
• Mr Bobinsky. I'd be willing to be he had a secret meeting with Jared Kushner or Trump Jr. to discuss adoption.
• I don't trust this cat. Because cats.
• "Soon, you'll see things our way." Other mother
"Because that's not creepy." My oldest son
• The feral cat in Coraline is such a cat. The cattiest cat that ever catted.
• The moral of Coraline: sure, your parents might be horrible but at least they're not hideous monsters.
• Christian is talking to the movie. Asked Coraline "Why aren't you running?"
• The other moral of Coraline: it's OK to be a selfish little brat.
• Christian's overall impression of Coraline & Family movie night - "Thaaaaat was creepy."
The Nightmare Before Christmas
• Is it a Halloween movie, Christmas movie, or both?
• This is our third year watching Nightmare Before Christmas together. By this point, it’s a family song-a-long.
• Favorite Nightmare Before Christmas characters ...
Christian: Jack
Zu: Zero
JJ: The Mayor
You: ?
• Have you ever woken in a strange forest and find a circle of trees that served as portals to different holiday themed realms? Me Neither
• If you don’t sing along with ‘What’s This,’ it’s possible you have a heart of stone.
• “Did anyone think to dredge the lake?” Every day.
• “They don’t understand the special kind of feeling in Christmas Land.” Either you get it or you don’t.
• Spider snowflakes. Teddy bear autopsy. These are the kind of experiments I can get behind.
• If this formula doesn’t make your nerd heart swoon, do you even geek?
• ‘Kidnap the Sandy Claws’ might be the most delightful yet sadistic song ever.
• Oogie Boogie isn’t scary. He’s annoying like your obnoxious neighbor who likes to BBQ naked in his backyard. And you don’t have a fence.
• Zero = Rudolph. Because of course.
• Jack & Sally. A better love story than Twilight.
• Military fires, Jack thinks they’re celebrating him. I’m starting to think Jack is a sociopathic narcissist.
• Jack lands in a cemetery after being shot down. What are the odds?
• Jack dodging blades in Oogie Boogie’s trap - it’s like Catherine Zeta-Jones & the security lasers in Entrapment.
• “Kris Kringle has pulled it out of the bag.” I feel like that should be a euphemism for something.
• And now the moment we’ve all been waiting for.
Little Monsters
• Halloween Family Movie Night, round 4. Tonight, it's Little Monsters
• Amazing, in almost 30 years, Fred Savage got taller, but he didn't age much. He's 40-something and still looks like a kid.
• Kid'll never have another friend like Maurice. He was a picker, a grinner, a lover, and a sinner.
• Mom was probably snoring. But Dad wears a pinstriped oxford shirt to bed.
• So far, the scariest thing in this movie is the dad's glasses. Holy 1989 Batman.
• Peanut butter and onion sandwiches? Ew.
• The dad fails to look if anything is in the driveway before backing out. Blames the kid. Bad parenting courteous of the 80s.
• "Pick on someone your own size." "Yeah, like Bigfoot." Don't ever back down to bullies.
• JJ: "They had really high pants back then."
Me: "Yes, yes we did."
• Brian is like a pre-pubescent MacGyver. All you need to trap a monster is a bed frame and a broken bike.
• "Oh, Brian is smart." My oldest son's only observation so far.
• Dad could hear Brian wrestling the monster, but not the stomping and pounding that followed?
• Maurice is my spirit animal.
• "I'm a monster and monsters don't do wishes."
• This is such a good movie for kids. Teaches them to hate the word "can't."
• "Any flavor you've ever flaved." I see what you did there.
• Saran wrapping the toilet: Best Prank Ever
• "Everybody cares, but some people have a different way of showing it."
• It's amazing how much Little Monsters inspired Monsters Inc.
• How does ADHD look? Like Howie Mandel as Maurice. Now imagine that is your kid. All the time.
• Monster hunting = science project. Sounds legit.
• Correction: Kiersten is the young MacGyver.
• Sometimes, bullies help you fight bigger bullies.
• Friends come in all shapes and sizes.
• Little Monsters is so very 80s. It holds up thought. Except for the music. Other than that, it aged well.
• The sound of someone eating Doritos plays in the background at the end of the closing credits. Self-referential synergy.
That covers everything. Do you have a favorite scary family movie? What should we watch next year?
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