Why do teenagers and preteens fart so much more frequently than other humans? I get why they find it funny. I'm a 38 year old man and I still laugh at an inappropriately timed flatulence. Still, why so much?
Why is my son so distracted while doing homework? The TV is off. His younger siblings are playing quietly in a different room. He's smart enough to complete it with minimal help. Why does he suddenly stare off into space every thirty seconds?
Why is it so hard to remember to do the simple things? Like combing your hair every morning. Using soap in the shower. Flushing the toilet after use. Closing the cereal box after filling your breakfast bowl. Getting dirty clothes into the dirty laundry basket. Putting away crayons, markers, and pencils. Why do my kids have a better understanding of quantum mechanics than they do basic acts of hygiene and cleanliness?
How do I find time to attend all of the practices and games and competitions for my youngest son, who wants to play every sport, all at the same time? Will his passion for athletics lead him to injury at a young age? Can he turn his love for sports into a college scholarship? Am I able to encourage, support, and motivate him to turn it into a career?
How I convince my daughter that she doesn't need a boyfriend in fifth grade? Will she become a statistic of the many women who are sexually assaulted or raped in high school and college? Will she still believe me ten years from now when I tell her she deserves the best in life? Will she remember she is strong and courageous and that she is smart enough to accomplish anything she wants?
How do I answer my oldest son when he asks me, "Will a girl ever like me?" Or "Why would a girl be interested in me? What is there to like?" Am I big enough and strong enough to help him survive the cruelty of school children? How long will it be before he finds his tribe - that circle of friends who will relentlessly defend him and lure him out of his comfort zone? Will he learn from or repeat my errors?
How do I teach my boys that it's OK to cry? How to I convince them that no means no and they should always respect the choices for their friends and romances? How do I raise them to value their relationships over wealth or power or influence?
How will I guide my daughter through her first heartbreak? Will I show her compassion or will I want to shred her ex into a million pieces?
Will I be a safe spot to land when my kids make mistakes? Because everyone makes mistakes.
Am I a good dad? Am I doing enough? Am I enough?
These are only a small percentage of the questions I ask as a father. Many of the others are directed at the kids. (Why would you? What were you thinking? How did you do that?!?" Others are more existential. (Is this normal? What was I thinking? Did I do that when I was younger?) Sometimes, I feel like I have more questions than I have answers. Sometimes I feel unworthy of such a grand responsibility, especially when my kids ask me questions I can't answer.
If you, like me, feel like parents should be omniscient, you are not alone. If you believe our ability to answer questions should be like KD ratios in first person shooters (kill/answer more than we die/ask questions), there is hope.
In the Rebirth comics series, DC has given Superman and Batman the most challenging jobs they've ever faced: being dads to a couple of adolescent kids. In a couple of frames of print, Superman faces the doubt and fear felt by many fathers, and Batman has the perfect assurance for guys like us.
image courtesy of DC comics
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