This is just too good. Pay attention to the parts in BOLD text.
I am a 26 yr old vocalist who is looking for some people to jam with. I am pretty good at the style I do. I am looking to possibly get a death metal band started up. I am a growler and yes I can do the soft stuff, but I won't. Soft is not who I am for I am Death. I do have some demo type stuff, but you will have to contact me if you are interested. I just want to go out and have some fun with music to start out, than see where things go. I have my own equipment(and it is kick a$$) and transport. If interested call or text Jxx at (208)###-####, or send me an email. I am also a writter* of lyrics and poetry.
*yes, that is how the author spelled "writer"
You can't make up bits like this... well one person could. But the rest of us?