iChat jabber neon held

That blog title is not just jibberish. It is an unfortunate byproduct of the iPhone's autocorrect feature.

Word of advice: When your wife texts you and asks you to pick up something from the store on your way home from work, don't try to speak German when texting her back. Apple does not recognize anything from the German language and will transliterate every word into an unintelligible mess that could only make sense to the late Steve Jobs.

Instead of saying you can't stop at the store because, "Ich habe kein Geld" you'll tell her "iChat jabber neon held." Then you'll be left trying to explain how your phone hates you and that you're really not on drugs.



Over his head

Me: "Knock-knock."
Christian: "Who's there?"
Me: "Eat mop."
Christian: "Eat mop who."
Me: "You eat your poo?
Christian: (cackles like he just heard the funniest joke in the world)(pauses) "I don't get it."
Me: "It's OK, I'm glad you don't get it."
Christian: "Did you make that up?"
Me: "No."
Christian: "Who did?"
Me: "I don't know."
Christian: "Well, I know my sister didn't make up that joke. And I know it wasn't God."
Me: "That's right. God only made one joke, and that was the platypus."
Christian: (more laughing) "I don't get it."

*** I should be relieved that he doesn't yet understand poop and fart jokes. However, I am worried that he doesn't understand what's so funny about the platypus. ***


Happy Mother's Day

Happy Mother's day. From a man who once picked dandelions and the father of a boy who still does.

Thank you to my wife, my mom, and my mother-in-law. Three women who know how to see love in a handful of weeds.


Birthdays and movies, or something like it

It's May. So much is going on this month. Bekah is graduating with her AS degree. My boss is celebrating a birthday. I'm celebrating my birthday. And hopefully we get keys to our new house.

I've usually told Bekah (in birthdays past) that the only thing I want for my birthday is a night out at the movies. Sometimes this works - as in the case of The Italian Job in 2003 or X-Men: The Last Stand in 2006. But it doesn't always work, as is the case this year. Since we're buying a house, we're doing all we can to keep as much money as possible in our bank account so that we can look as good as possible before closing.

There is no room in the budget for trips to the movie theater.

So here are five movies coming out over the next few weeks that I really want to see and will probably have to wait until they're out in Redbox to do so.

* The Avengers: I'm a sucker for comic book adaptations. And this one looks like it's going to be better than it's predecessors - some of which I liked (the first Iron Man, Edward Norton's version of the Hulk) some of which I didn't (Thor, Eric Bana's version of the Hulk) and some which were just meh (Captain America). Opens today.

* Dark Shadows: How can you go wrong with a vampire that wakes up in the 70's after being buried for 200 years? Looks creepy, quirky and funny. And Alice Cooper has a cameo role. With the eccentric Tim Burton in the director's seat - this update on the 60's era soap opera looks like it will be a winner. Opens next Friday.

* Snow White and the Huntsman: I really want to hate this movie. I do. For so many reasons. Primarily, the idea that the movie wants us to believe (that one day Kristen Stewart will be more beautiful than Charlize Theron) is rather unbelievable. Yet despite my strong desire to loath this movie, every time I see a preview for it my resolve slips a little. I'm thrilled by the recent fairy tale revival (Mirror, Mirror; Once Upon a Time; Grimm) and The Huntsman is one more in a tradition that I hope to see continue. Opens June 1st.

* Rock of Ages: This has much in it's favor. Adapted from the Broadway production that originally starred Constantine Maroulis. A love story told through rock & roll. A hair metal soundtrack. And an all-star cast. Opens June 15th.

* Abraham Lincoln Vampire Hunter: Another entry in vampire fiction, but this one adds a historical twist. Filled with epic Civil War battles and human versus vampire fights, Vampire Hunter is teeming with excitement. The movie's twitter feed has been buzzing with a mix of real and fake Abe Lincoln quotes, movie hype, and patriotic fare that is equally genuine as it is parody. The book was fantastic and this film adaptation appears to be honoring the source material as faithfully as possible.

I feel like I'm missing out. On the other hand, my father-in-law is treating me out to see Cabin in the Woods tonight, so it's not all bad news.


Due to a certain new movie coming out this week, show times for Cabin in the Woods shrank to one matinee showing. So, we ended up going to see The Avengers. Which is good, because it was awesome.


The Switcheroo

When I woke up this morning, JJ was asleep on the couch in the living room and Zu was asleep in her bed.

I went into the bathroom to get ready for work.

When I emerged, Zu was awake on the couch in the living room and JJ was asleep in mamma's bed.