hope for mankind

Burger King has renewed my faith in humanity… almost.

If you are a faithful reader (all three of you) you will know that I haven’t had good luck when it comes to fast food restaurants.

I have had a bad experience with the ranch sauce at Arby’s. Taco Bell is well... Taco Bell. I refuse to eat at Wendy because they have gotten my order wrong more often then they’ve gotten it right. And I’ll only eat at Jack n the Box or Del Taco if I’m in the mood to wait ten to fifteen minuets before getting my food. (Seriously, I have received my food at the Olive Garden faster than that.)

When it comes to Burger King, their hiring usually scrapes the bottom of the gene pool. This is not just a local thing – every Burger King I have eaten at, from Seattle to Sioux Falls, is staffed by a bunch of inbred hillbillies and illegal immigrants. (No offense to any inbred hillbillies and illegal immigrants that might read this post.)

I decided that I was in the mood for chicken fries for lunch today, no chance of them screwing that up, right? I go back to work, sat down in the break room and opened up my to-go bag. Naturally the order was wrong. I ordered a nine-piece, they gave me six.

So, I drove back to Burger King. The manager (eighteen year old kid in a manager’s shirt) was at the cash register. He asked how he could help me and I said…

“I was really looking forward to consuming my dinner and have adequate time to take pleasure in some relaxing conversation with my coworkers. Alas, I am not able to enjoy that longed for banter thanks to your pitiful kitchen staff. I ordered a nine-piece chicken fry, and in case you are incapable of counting, I received only six. My math skills are severely deficient, but last time I checked, that means that you shorted me thirty-three percent of what is due me. I am greatly distressed, not only am I wasting time due to your folly, but I may be tardy in return to my employ. It is this kind of incompetence that is contributing to the degradation of modern society and I will not tolerate it any longer. I demand that you give me what is rightfully mine.”

Not really. What I really said was, “Um... I ordered a number seven, but I uh, only got six fries.”

The boy manager immediately and apathetically apologized and ordered another nine-piece from an older lady working the fryer.

“Um,” I said. “Really, I’ve got six all ready. I only need three more.”

“Don’t worry about it,” he says. “I’ll just get you another one.” Seconds later, the other one appeared.

He didn’t even ask for a receipt. Finally, a fast food manager who understands how to care for his customers. I am impressed. Most other fast food managers look at me (and treat me) like it is my fault that they screwed up my order and how dare I attempt to correct their mistake. One of the managers at McDonald's defended his employees with out even a brief apology or explanation of why four people got their food and I’m still waiting.

So here’s to you, goofy looking slightly awkward Burger King manager manchild. Kudos. My hat is off to you. Keep up the good work, your future is bright.

Oh yeah, and uh... thanks.


real life conversation

I am not making this conversation up.

Teacher: What is the oldest pyramid in Egypt

Student 1: (shurg)I don't know.

Student 2: The one at Giza?

(other students guess)

Student 3: Is it the one without the nose?

Teacher: (random laughing in the background) That is not a pyramid.

Student 3: Yes it is, it's the one with no nose!

(more random laughter)

Student 2: What about the great pyramid?

Teacher: No.

Student 3: The one with no nose, it's a statue in Egypt. It's the oldest pyramid.

Teacher: (shakes head no)

Student 4: (attempts to explain what a pyramid is)

Student 3: It's the one with the broken nose. You know... The sphincter!


movies... I mean movie (singular)

Bekah and I do not get out to the theater much any more. That was a fairly common thing when we first met/dated, and even after we got married. But now, with a toddler son, school for Bekah, and a more than full time job for me, opportunity for motion picture enjoyment is slimmer than it used to be. Then add in Bekah's lupis and our attempts to establish mutual friends in the area... did I mention the toddler? You get the picture.

Needless to say when we go see a movie, we make it worth the effort. We had the chance to get out this last weekend and it was definitely worth it. For those of you that have seen Walk the Line I hope you enjoyed it as much as I did. Great movie with Oscar worthy performances from Reese Witherspoon and Jaoquin Phoenix.

Even more impressive than the lead roles were some of the bit parts. The people they found to act as Elvis, Jerry Lee Lewis, Roy Orbison, and Waylon Jennings turned out amazing performances.

I'm not particularly fond of biographical movies. In fact, a good biography is rare on the silver screen and yet I keep torturing myself by watching them. But this one was more than good. If you haven't seen it yet, do.


nothing to say

It's been a week since the my last post. Partially because my life is boring. Partially due to extreme busy work schedule. But mostly because I'm lazy.

Right now Bekah is sick, Christian is sick, and I'm sick. Our household is an exciting place.

Tomorrow is the beginning of the fourth week of a seven week class. They're a bit obnoxious but they are a good group. Too bad the rest of my peers think they're a bunch of savages.



Steelers vs Seahawks. This is officially the worst Super Bowl game I have EVER seen. Pittsburgh should not have won and don't deserve the trophy.

The real MVP?? The refs.


Dumb Americans

I am patriotic, to a degree. If speaking of our country and the ideals it was founded on, then heck yeah! This is the greatest country in the world.

But I also understand what David Bowie meant when he sang "I'm afraid of Americans." When speaking of the general populace of the USA, what have we gotten ourselves into?!

We've all heard the "only in America" jokes and stories...
Only in America drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.
Only in America people order double cheeseburgers, large fries, and a DIET coke.
Only in America banks leave both doors open and then chain the pens to the counters.
Only in America we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage.
Only in America we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight.
Only in America the word 'politics' to describe the process so well 'Poli' in Latin meaning 'many' and 'tics' meaning 'bloodsucking creatures'.
Only in America we have drive-up ATM machines with Braille lettering.

My fear of Americans stems from the few, the proud, the morons. Only in America are we expected to tolerate stoopid people.

Case in point. Last night, after getting off work, I went to the Apple Way Wendy's to get food for Bekah. Thankfully their drive though is open till midnight. Unfortunately, their late night staff has the combined IQ of 73 (including the manager).

It was a simple order... a number two, ketchup only, large sized, and a junior bacon cheese burger ketchup only.

The girl working the first window ordered it correctly despite moving at slower than a sloth on morphine. She took my debit card and after what seemed like an hour, she returned it to me at the rate of glacial recession. I hate to be repetitive, but I'm serious; I have seen slugs move faster than her. The only thing she did fast was speak in run on sentences. "Heresyourcardnreciptpullforwardtothesencondwindowthankyougoodbye!"

At the second window (after listening to 2 and 1/2 songs on the radio) some of my order appeared and another LONG minute later the window opened with another run on sentence. "Hereyougosorryboutthewaitthanxbye."

I pulled forward a foot or two and then stopped. Looking at the soda in the cup holder, I thought to my self, "that's not a large." I opened the bag and pulled out fries, wrong size. Next i checked the junior bacon cheese burger, loaded with lettuce mayo and tomato. I squeezed out of the car since the vehicle behind me prevented me from using reverse. Scooting between my junker Ford and Wendy's brick wall in the cold rain bag and soda in hand, I stood at the window and waited for some one to notice me.

The window opened. "What's wrong." There's courteous service for you.

"This," I set down the small Dr Pepper, "was supposed to be a large. This," (the small fry) "was supposed to be a large. This," (junior bacon cheese burger) "was supposed to be ketchup only." I still had yet to check Bekah's double cheese burger. When I pulled it out of the bag, it was ketchup only but still not quite right. "This," I added "is supposed to be a cheese burger."

The scared employee sought refuge in the manager, a snide little girl who wanted to see my receipt. Problem, the only receipt they gave me only showed the price I paid, not the items I ordered. Still, I complied.

So, I stood leaning against my car, my butt getting wet, while the rain slowly turned into snow, and waited. And waited. Two cars behind me, one all ready paid the other had ordered but not yet paid. While the kitchen staff took their sweet time fixing my order, two other vehicles ran out of patience and drove off. Wendy's was losing customers because of me, but I had no had sympathy. They should have gotten the order right the first time.

Finally they handed me an accurate order and I drove home with warm food and a soggy bottom.

When we share stories like this, everyone groans in solace of similar experiences. We have had to deal with horrible customer service in every aspect of our lives: fast food joints, restaurants, grocery stores, credit card cable and telephone companies, internet and cell providers.

Worst of all, there is not much we can do about it. We could complain, but complaints rarely resolve the issue and get you little more than an apology and complimentary services. The idiot in question may be talked to but is unlikely to receive reprimand.

Even if I had complained at Wendy's (which I didn't) management would not have fired anybody and the idiots in question would continue to make their customers' lives miserable. Even if someone was fired, that person would get a job at another fast food joint or gas station or something, and be equally inept at that job.

If you as an individual are too stupid to work at Wendy's with any sort of effort or excellence, how do you expect to survive in the real world? I can not imagine the manager I talked to last night running her own business or serving as an accountant for a major corporation. Maybe she is perfectly content working for minimal wages at one crappy job after another for the rest of her life... but I doubt it.

I have a wonderful job that I enjoy and I'm able to support my family. But I'm not content; I would like to do more.

Right now we have a generation of idiots being raised by a generation of slackers who grew up being taught there is nothing to believe in, nothing to hope for.

Free speech is free as long as it doesn't offend any one. Free thought is allowed only when we are told what to think. American universities are no longer the forefront of every field of research and industry; they are now four years of parties and a breeding ground for the gullible and dim witted. Warning labels serves the fool, but stupid people carry no warning.

American culture is in decline. We are repressed by a minority, the fearful and the dumb. I'm glad President Bush introduced the No Child Left Behind thing, but it is not working. If we are to compete and thrive in international economy, we can no longer endorse and stupidity. We need to take a stand.