I'm just waiting for the day when Christian is old enough to help me play a prank at Best Lie... I uh... I mean Best Buy.
Inside the doors of every Best Buy there are little gates that count every person that walks into the store. The general idea is to take that number and divide it by the number of transactions to get a number called "conversion." Conversion is one of the many statistics the corporate people at Best Lie... sorry, Best Buy uses to measure how well a store is doing.
It is not an exact science for several reasons. Some customers separate their purchases into separate transactions, possibly to help keep finances in order; i.e. business supplies and personal amenities. Employees also walk through those gates when they go outside to smoke or run somewhere for lunch. If employees do not go elsewhere for lunch, they often buy sodas and snacks from the front register. While this helps out their conversion it also lowers one of the other metrics they have to meet, average transaction.
Average transaction is determined by adding up to total of all receipts then dividing that by the number of transactions made during the day. The more money spent on purchases made during the day the higher the average transaction. Best L... Buy drives up this number by selling you crap that you don't need. Management teaches their employees to lie and deceive to get those "add-ons" into every large sale.
For example: the Sunday add has a cheap worthless little E-Machines package for $399.99 (after rebates). It seems like a good deal, you get the computer tower, monitor, and a printer for one low price. But the goal of every employee (or at least that employee's supervisor) is to take that sale and add in at least three of the following products: a service plan (there are separate plans for the CPU, monitor, and printer... ideally you get all three), backup battery or power supply (the bigger the better, a simple power strip won't do), blank CD's for the CD-R, extra ink (the ones included with the printer are only half full), regular paper (preferably bright white... it's the most expensive), photo paper (because the printer is a color printer), a USB cord not included with the printer (and the one with gold tips cause it's better!), internet services (why get a computer if you can't use the internet), extra virus protection, and new software or games to keep you entertained (and Microsoft Office would be a great suggestion for an additional $399.99). By the time they're done with you, you're spending close to $1,800 if not more. Then they suggest great deals on digital cameras. Once at the registers they hit you up for magazine and other subscription services (or d-subs). If the sales person was not successful in selling the service plans, some managers require that person to page a manager to the front to further push the service plan. This method of sales has angered many customers and employees. Just check out this website. (ed. note: the Best Buy Sux website has been shut down (presumably by Best Buy) and replaced with Best Buy advertising. If it was still in operation, you would have found countless stories from jilted customers and disgruntled former and current employees)
If the store is above target for average transaction but short of their conversion goal, management encourages employees to make small purchases. But if they are under goal for average transaction, small employee purchases are discouraged. Obviously, the cost of a soda and a bag of Skittles is drastically lower than that of a High Definition plasma television and could significantly lower the average transaction.
Anyways, back to conversion. One other thing that prevents this statistic from being truly accurate is the customer who exits and reenters the store. This happens often. They're returning shopping carts or left their credit card in their car or whatever. It is this concept that I want to exploit with the help Christian. Although, I've got to wait till he's taller.
First, we'll enter the store, counted as two people. Then, while shopping, I'll whisper to him "run through those gates." And as he runs out the door, I'll go chase him down like any good father would, also passing through the gate. We will then go back into the store, passing through the gates now counted as six people. Once inside the store I will fake scold him so not to raise suspicion of the LP person standing by the door. I'll say something like "Christian, I am only pretending to scold you. Even though I look stern, you are not in trouble. But I want you to look sheepish so that that nice people in the blue shirts think you are in trouble. Do you understand?" He'll nod his head and I'll say "Good. Now go run through the gates again." We will repeat this process many times and will eventually buy nothing. If we do buy something it will be a CD or DVD and only if it is on sale.
As much fun as I imagine that activity will be, it pales in comparison to this prank.
I so wish I was there.
And for more Best Buy reading enjoyment that is totally off the subject, check out this site.
5.05.2006
5.03.2006
best song you've never heard
Panjabi MC "Mundian To Bach Ke (Beware of the Boys)" remix featuring Jay-Z
If you've never listened to Bhangra or heard anyone rapping in Punjabi, this song will throw you for a loop. Rapping in what?! you ask.
Punjabi is a language spoken by 104 million people worldwide from the Punjab region in northern India/Eastern Pakistan, where Rajinder Rai (AKA Panjabi MC) was born.
Panjabi MC now lives in the UK and he seemlesly blends the music of his heritage and culture with modern styles popular in England.
The remix of "Mundian To Bach Ke (Beware of the Boys)" was produced by the Neptunes. The song's foundation is a sample of the Knight Rider theme song. Yet it keeps the lively instrumentation of Bhangra; dhol drums and tumbi (the tumbi was also used for the main riff in Missy's "Get Ur Freak On").
With the accompaniment and Panjabi MC's vocals, you feel as if you are walking the streets of Dheli, well... with out the heat, humidity, and overcrowding. I have no idea what Panjabi is saying, but it is absolutely beautiful. Jay's lyrics are his typical swagger, comparing himself to a "black Brad Pitt" and how he is "infinitely good."
Overall, the song is well produced, fun, and unique. I just can not get sick of hearing it.
If you've never listened to Bhangra or heard anyone rapping in Punjabi, this song will throw you for a loop. Rapping in what?! you ask.
Punjabi is a language spoken by 104 million people worldwide from the Punjab region in northern India/Eastern Pakistan, where Rajinder Rai (AKA Panjabi MC) was born.
Panjabi MC now lives in the UK and he seemlesly blends the music of his heritage and culture with modern styles popular in England.
The remix of "Mundian To Bach Ke (Beware of the Boys)" was produced by the Neptunes. The song's foundation is a sample of the Knight Rider theme song. Yet it keeps the lively instrumentation of Bhangra; dhol drums and tumbi (the tumbi was also used for the main riff in Missy's "Get Ur Freak On").
With the accompaniment and Panjabi MC's vocals, you feel as if you are walking the streets of Dheli, well... with out the heat, humidity, and overcrowding. I have no idea what Panjabi is saying, but it is absolutely beautiful. Jay's lyrics are his typical swagger, comparing himself to a "black Brad Pitt" and how he is "infinitely good."
Overall, the song is well produced, fun, and unique. I just can not get sick of hearing it.
4.28.2006
tag team training
This last week has been a great change of pace.
I have applied for and interviewed for a promotion. The position would be a great opportunity for me, but I'm 99% sure that it went to some one else. Nothing is set in stone and I likely won't know till mid week next week. If I had to place money on it I'd bet I didn't get it.
Most of my time this week has been devoted to the classroom. However, this current class is not mine, I've just been there to help out as needed. Usually that kind of situation stresses me out. Previously when I've combined classes with another trainer, one of the trainers sits in on my class, or I sit in on theirs it is awkward. There's nothing that will highlight differences in training styles than combining trainers.
About a year ago we planned on combining both of the day classes for three days of sales training. The other trainer was robotic, dominating, and somewhat tyrannical with a bad sense of humor. After the first day, my class was begging to not have to see or hear him ever again.
This week though has been great. I've never worked with another trainer whose style was so similar to mine. The agents think she's one of the best trainers ever and they like having me around. Sadly, it won't last forever, I've got my own class starting in a week.
Also in the training realm. For the last several months classes have been rough. While there are gems in each class, the general make up has been scraping the bottom of the gene pool. The classes that started this week has broken that trend, they are some of the most polite, professional, and put together new hires that I've seen in a long time. Even the skater and the rocker in this class are angels compared to my last couple of classes. I hope this trend continues.
I have applied for and interviewed for a promotion. The position would be a great opportunity for me, but I'm 99% sure that it went to some one else. Nothing is set in stone and I likely won't know till mid week next week. If I had to place money on it I'd bet I didn't get it.
Most of my time this week has been devoted to the classroom. However, this current class is not mine, I've just been there to help out as needed. Usually that kind of situation stresses me out. Previously when I've combined classes with another trainer, one of the trainers sits in on my class, or I sit in on theirs it is awkward. There's nothing that will highlight differences in training styles than combining trainers.
About a year ago we planned on combining both of the day classes for three days of sales training. The other trainer was robotic, dominating, and somewhat tyrannical with a bad sense of humor. After the first day, my class was begging to not have to see or hear him ever again.
This week though has been great. I've never worked with another trainer whose style was so similar to mine. The agents think she's one of the best trainers ever and they like having me around. Sadly, it won't last forever, I've got my own class starting in a week.
Also in the training realm. For the last several months classes have been rough. While there are gems in each class, the general make up has been scraping the bottom of the gene pool. The classes that started this week has broken that trend, they are some of the most polite, professional, and put together new hires that I've seen in a long time. Even the skater and the rocker in this class are angels compared to my last couple of classes. I hope this trend continues.
4.20.2006
sink vs. swim
Rules are easy. As long as you deal with absolutes. In matters of law... there's to much grey area. Not so easy.
Here's some interesting thoughts from Sphere of Hip-Hop in an article by Sintax the Terrific:
"Man can't know whether or not he is moral without the definition of what constitutes 'bad' and 'good' behavior, as provided in 'law.'... Christ, during His lifetime, explained dramatically, that the law is far more nuanced than we tend to perceive it. For example, laboring on the Sabbath. Christ made it clear that such a prohibition was nonsensical in application when it had the effect of denying assistance to a neighbor in need..."
The idea is that it is far to easy to look at the law and follow it strictly as to avoid the grey area, meanwhile we defeat the whole purpose of the law itself by failing to understand why the law even exists.
Sintax continues: "God's law is as much about conviction as it is about behavior... the rigors of 'Law' expose man's need for God because they are unattainable."
If the "law" is impossible to follow, how can I say that rules are easy? Sintax explains:
"Adherence to the strict letter of a rule, which dictates one behavior for all circumstance, is substantially easier than relying on the guidance of the Holy Spirit and Godly wisdom to make a particularized application of a rule in varied situations... It is less difficult to refrain from drinking alcohol altogether than to drink sometimes but be accountable for assessing when you have consumed in excess or, even more subtle, when your drinking has negatively impacted another person.... It is less difficult to prohibit the purchase of guns than to teach people not to kill. It is less difficult to criminalize abortion than to teach people how to cherish life or to avoid unwanted pregnancy altogether."
Ooh, he mentioned the "A" word. Aside from my opinion that Roe vs. Wade was a horrible legal decision (a completely different conversation and one I'm probably not the most qualified to argue) and the moral differences between the pro-life and pro-choice philosophies, Sintax makes a statement I find intriguing. It's a thought I've never pondered - one worth consideration for those who oppose abortion.
"I have yearned for a reversal of Roe v. Wade/Casey v. Planned Parenthood, almost to the exclusion of all variety of other virtuous causes. I want a New Law to govern the issue. I want to require people not to have abortions. Unfortunately, I have been comparatively less interested in helping people choose not to have abortions or avoid having to choose in the first instance. It's simply been easier to hope for a ban of the activity altogether. I think my new dream is for Roe to remain. For the legal barriers to abortion to fall completely. For the doors of the clinics to be flung as wide as the hinge of law would allow. And, yet for the operating table to remain empty. And, for the clinics to stand quiet."
What would be easier? Outlaw abortion all together or let the law stand and devote our attention to teaching the value of life. What would be easier? To tell a woman that she can't have an abortion, or convince her why she shouldn't.
I think subconsciously, I have always understood this concept. During my classes, I teach all of the rules and regulations of our company and our business. I show all of the black and white of our products, services, and pricing. But once my classes graduate and start talking to customers, all of those rules turn to grey. I can't tell my students what to do except to use common sense and discretion.
What are we as Christians to do when life gives us grey? Search for Godly wisdom.
You can read Sintax the Terrific's article in its entirety @ New Law.
Here's some interesting thoughts from Sphere of Hip-Hop in an article by Sintax the Terrific:
"Man can't know whether or not he is moral without the definition of what constitutes 'bad' and 'good' behavior, as provided in 'law.'... Christ, during His lifetime, explained dramatically, that the law is far more nuanced than we tend to perceive it. For example, laboring on the Sabbath. Christ made it clear that such a prohibition was nonsensical in application when it had the effect of denying assistance to a neighbor in need..."
The idea is that it is far to easy to look at the law and follow it strictly as to avoid the grey area, meanwhile we defeat the whole purpose of the law itself by failing to understand why the law even exists.
Sintax continues: "God's law is as much about conviction as it is about behavior... the rigors of 'Law' expose man's need for God because they are unattainable."
If the "law" is impossible to follow, how can I say that rules are easy? Sintax explains:
"Adherence to the strict letter of a rule, which dictates one behavior for all circumstance, is substantially easier than relying on the guidance of the Holy Spirit and Godly wisdom to make a particularized application of a rule in varied situations... It is less difficult to refrain from drinking alcohol altogether than to drink sometimes but be accountable for assessing when you have consumed in excess or, even more subtle, when your drinking has negatively impacted another person.... It is less difficult to prohibit the purchase of guns than to teach people not to kill. It is less difficult to criminalize abortion than to teach people how to cherish life or to avoid unwanted pregnancy altogether."
Ooh, he mentioned the "A" word. Aside from my opinion that Roe vs. Wade was a horrible legal decision (a completely different conversation and one I'm probably not the most qualified to argue) and the moral differences between the pro-life and pro-choice philosophies, Sintax makes a statement I find intriguing. It's a thought I've never pondered - one worth consideration for those who oppose abortion.
"I have yearned for a reversal of Roe v. Wade/Casey v. Planned Parenthood, almost to the exclusion of all variety of other virtuous causes. I want a New Law to govern the issue. I want to require people not to have abortions. Unfortunately, I have been comparatively less interested in helping people choose not to have abortions or avoid having to choose in the first instance. It's simply been easier to hope for a ban of the activity altogether. I think my new dream is for Roe to remain. For the legal barriers to abortion to fall completely. For the doors of the clinics to be flung as wide as the hinge of law would allow. And, yet for the operating table to remain empty. And, for the clinics to stand quiet."
What would be easier? Outlaw abortion all together or let the law stand and devote our attention to teaching the value of life. What would be easier? To tell a woman that she can't have an abortion, or convince her why she shouldn't.
I think subconsciously, I have always understood this concept. During my classes, I teach all of the rules and regulations of our company and our business. I show all of the black and white of our products, services, and pricing. But once my classes graduate and start talking to customers, all of those rules turn to grey. I can't tell my students what to do except to use common sense and discretion.
What are we as Christians to do when life gives us grey? Search for Godly wisdom.
You can read Sintax the Terrific's article in its entirety @ New Law.
4.11.2006
music news
Fresh from my yahoo headlines:
Deshaun Holton (rapper Proof of D-12) was shot and killed late last night/early this morning at a club in Detroit.
The older I get, the more and more I relate to hip hop, both music and culture. While I'm not a fan of Proof or of D-12, I do admit the amount of talent that will be missed.
Again it reminds me of what I want to do with my life, the dream that God has instilled in me. To see no more fallen heroes in music.
"I don't understand how a seed gets strangled in the heart of a man When the music covers like an evening mist like a watch still ticking on a dead man's wrist."
from Jim Morrison's Grave by Steve Taylor
Deshaun Holton (rapper Proof of D-12) was shot and killed late last night/early this morning at a club in Detroit.
The older I get, the more and more I relate to hip hop, both music and culture. While I'm not a fan of Proof or of D-12, I do admit the amount of talent that will be missed.
Again it reminds me of what I want to do with my life, the dream that God has instilled in me. To see no more fallen heroes in music.
"I don't understand how a seed gets strangled in the heart of a man When the music covers like an evening mist like a watch still ticking on a dead man's wrist."
from Jim Morrison's Grave by Steve Taylor
Government Regulations
The following correspondence between the State of Michigan and some guy named Ryan DeVries is slightly amusing to some, and hilarious to others. At worst it is mildly entertaining. But for me what makes these letters so funny is that I could see my father doing something like this.
First, the letter from Michigan Department of Environmental Quality:
SUBJECT: DEQ File No.97-59-0023; T11N; R10W, Sec. 20; Montcalm County
Dear Mr. DeVries:
It has come to the attention of the Department of Environmental Quality that there has been recent unauthorized activity on the above referenced parcel of property. You have been certified as the legal landowner and/or contractor who did the following unauthorized activity: Construction and maintenance of two wood debris dams across the outlet stream of Spring Pond.
A permit must be issued prior to the start of this type of activity. A review of the department's files shows that no permits have been issued. Therefore, the Department has determined that this activity is in violation of Part 301, Inland Lakes and Streams, of the Natural Resource and Environmental Protection Act, Act 451 of the Public Acts of 1994, being sections 324.30101 to 324.30113 of the Michigan Compiled Laws, annotated.
The Department has been informed that one or both of the dams partially failed during a recent rain event, causing debris and flooding at downstream locations. We find that dams of this nature are inherently hazardous and cannot be permitted. The Department therefore orders you to cease and desist all activities at this location, and to restore the stream to a free-flow condition by removing all wood and brush forming the dams from the stream channel. All restoration work shall be completed no later than January 31, 2005.
Please notify this office when the restoration has been completed so that a follow-up site inspection may be scheduled by our staff. Failure to comply with this request or any further unauthorized activity on the site may result in this case being referred for elevated enforcement action. We anticipate and would appreciate your full cooperation in this matter. Please feel free to contact me at this office if you have any questions.
Sincerely,
David L. Price,
District Representative
Land and Water Management Division
Then, Mr. DeVries actual response. (even if you think you know what he's going to say... keep reading):
Re: DEQ File No. 97-59-0023; T11N; R10W, Sec. 20; Montcalm County
Dear Mr. Price,
Your certified letter dated 12/17/02 has been handed to me to respond to. I am the legal landowner but not the Contractor at 2088 Dagget, Pierson, Michigan. A couple of beavers are in the process of constructing and maintaining two wood "debris" dams across the outlet stream of my Spring Pond.
While I did not pay for, authorize, nor supervise their dam project, I think they would be highly offended that you call their skillful use of natures building materials "debris." I would like to challenge your department to attempt to emulate their dam project any time and/or any place you choose. I believe I can safely state there is no way you could ever match their dam skills, their dam resourcefulness, their dam ingenuity, their dam persistence, their dam determination and/or their dam work ethic.
As to your request, I do not think the beavers are aware that they must first fill out a dam permit prior to the start of this type of dam activity. My first dam question to you is: (1) Are you trying to discriminate against my Spring Pond Beavers, or (2) do you require all beavers throughout this state to conform to said dam request? If you are not discriminating against these particular beavers, through the Freedom of Information Act, I request completed copies of all those other applicable beaver dam permits that have been issued. Perhaps we will see if there really is a dam violation of Part 301, Inland Lakes and Streams, of the Natural Resource and Environmental Protection Act, Act 451 of the Public Acts of 1994, being sections 324.30101to 324.30113 of the Michigan Compiled Laws, annotated.
I have several concerns. My first concern is; aren't the beavers entitled to legal representation? The Spring Pond Beavers are financially destitute and are unable to pay for said representation -- so the State will have to provide them with a dam lawyer. The Department's dam concern that either one or both of the dams failed during a recent rain event, causing flooding, is proof that this is a natural occurrence, which the Department is required to protect. In other words, we should leave the Spring Pond Beavers alone rather than harassing them and calling their dam names. If you want the stream "restored" to a dam free-flow condition please contact the beavers -- but if you are going to arrest them, they obviously did not pay any attention to your dam letter, they being unable to read English.
In my humble opinion, the Spring Pond Beavers have a right to build their unauthorized dams as long as the sky is blue, the grass is green and water flows downstream. They have more dam rights than I do to live and enjoy Spring Pond. If the Department of Natural Resources and Environmental Protection lives up to its name, it should protect the natural resources (Beavers) and the environment (Beavers' Dams).
So, as far as the beavers and I are concerned, this dam case can be referred for more elevated enforcement action right now. Why wait until 1/31/2005? The Spring Pond Beavers may be under the dam ice then and there will be no way for you or your dam staff to contact/harass them then.
In conclusion, I would like to bring to your attention to a real environmental quality (health) problem in the area. It is the bears! Bears are actually defecating in our woods. I definitely believe you should be persecuting the defecating bears and leave the beavers alone. If you are going to investigate the beaver dam, watch your step! (The bears are not careful where they dump!) Being unable to comply with your dam request, and being unable to contact you on your dam answering machine, I am sending this response to your dam office.
THANK YOU.
RYAN DEVRIES &THE DAM BEAVERS
For those of you that know my father... This is so like him.
First, the letter from Michigan Department of Environmental Quality:
SUBJECT: DEQ File No.97-59-0023; T11N; R10W, Sec. 20; Montcalm County
Dear Mr. DeVries:
It has come to the attention of the Department of Environmental Quality that there has been recent unauthorized activity on the above referenced parcel of property. You have been certified as the legal landowner and/or contractor who did the following unauthorized activity: Construction and maintenance of two wood debris dams across the outlet stream of Spring Pond.
A permit must be issued prior to the start of this type of activity. A review of the department's files shows that no permits have been issued. Therefore, the Department has determined that this activity is in violation of Part 301, Inland Lakes and Streams, of the Natural Resource and Environmental Protection Act, Act 451 of the Public Acts of 1994, being sections 324.30101 to 324.30113 of the Michigan Compiled Laws, annotated.
The Department has been informed that one or both of the dams partially failed during a recent rain event, causing debris and flooding at downstream locations. We find that dams of this nature are inherently hazardous and cannot be permitted. The Department therefore orders you to cease and desist all activities at this location, and to restore the stream to a free-flow condition by removing all wood and brush forming the dams from the stream channel. All restoration work shall be completed no later than January 31, 2005.
Please notify this office when the restoration has been completed so that a follow-up site inspection may be scheduled by our staff. Failure to comply with this request or any further unauthorized activity on the site may result in this case being referred for elevated enforcement action. We anticipate and would appreciate your full cooperation in this matter. Please feel free to contact me at this office if you have any questions.
Sincerely,
David L. Price,
District Representative
Land and Water Management Division
Then, Mr. DeVries actual response. (even if you think you know what he's going to say... keep reading):
Re: DEQ File No. 97-59-0023; T11N; R10W, Sec. 20; Montcalm County
Dear Mr. Price,
Your certified letter dated 12/17/02 has been handed to me to respond to. I am the legal landowner but not the Contractor at 2088 Dagget, Pierson, Michigan. A couple of beavers are in the process of constructing and maintaining two wood "debris" dams across the outlet stream of my Spring Pond.
While I did not pay for, authorize, nor supervise their dam project, I think they would be highly offended that you call their skillful use of natures building materials "debris." I would like to challenge your department to attempt to emulate their dam project any time and/or any place you choose. I believe I can safely state there is no way you could ever match their dam skills, their dam resourcefulness, their dam ingenuity, their dam persistence, their dam determination and/or their dam work ethic.
As to your request, I do not think the beavers are aware that they must first fill out a dam permit prior to the start of this type of dam activity. My first dam question to you is: (1) Are you trying to discriminate against my Spring Pond Beavers, or (2) do you require all beavers throughout this state to conform to said dam request? If you are not discriminating against these particular beavers, through the Freedom of Information Act, I request completed copies of all those other applicable beaver dam permits that have been issued. Perhaps we will see if there really is a dam violation of Part 301, Inland Lakes and Streams, of the Natural Resource and Environmental Protection Act, Act 451 of the Public Acts of 1994, being sections 324.30101to 324.30113 of the Michigan Compiled Laws, annotated.
I have several concerns. My first concern is; aren't the beavers entitled to legal representation? The Spring Pond Beavers are financially destitute and are unable to pay for said representation -- so the State will have to provide them with a dam lawyer. The Department's dam concern that either one or both of the dams failed during a recent rain event, causing flooding, is proof that this is a natural occurrence, which the Department is required to protect. In other words, we should leave the Spring Pond Beavers alone rather than harassing them and calling their dam names. If you want the stream "restored" to a dam free-flow condition please contact the beavers -- but if you are going to arrest them, they obviously did not pay any attention to your dam letter, they being unable to read English.
In my humble opinion, the Spring Pond Beavers have a right to build their unauthorized dams as long as the sky is blue, the grass is green and water flows downstream. They have more dam rights than I do to live and enjoy Spring Pond. If the Department of Natural Resources and Environmental Protection lives up to its name, it should protect the natural resources (Beavers) and the environment (Beavers' Dams).
So, as far as the beavers and I are concerned, this dam case can be referred for more elevated enforcement action right now. Why wait until 1/31/2005? The Spring Pond Beavers may be under the dam ice then and there will be no way for you or your dam staff to contact/harass them then.
In conclusion, I would like to bring to your attention to a real environmental quality (health) problem in the area. It is the bears! Bears are actually defecating in our woods. I definitely believe you should be persecuting the defecating bears and leave the beavers alone. If you are going to investigate the beaver dam, watch your step! (The bears are not careful where they dump!) Being unable to comply with your dam request, and being unable to contact you on your dam answering machine, I am sending this response to your dam office.
THANK YOU.
RYAN DEVRIES &THE DAM BEAVERS
For those of you that know my father... This is so like him.
4.09.2006
two much cool for one day
one
Bekah and I periodically eat dinner at her parents place, and last night was one of those occasions.
If Italian food is being served and garlic bread is required, Bekah makes it. However last night Bekah and I were halfway to Spokane when the food was being prepared and Bekah's mom called for instructions: how do you make garlic bread?
Cut the bread lengthwise, in half. Melt a cube of butter, mix in granulated garlic and Italian seasoning. If you don't have Italian seasoning, use parsley and basil. Spoon the butter mixture onto the bread. Bake.
Dinner was wonderful, but the bread had no flavor. My father-in-law even lamented the lack of garlicishness. Mom's explanation was she used garlic but she must not have used enough. As dinner finished, Dad stood up to leave and noticed something out of place.
"Why are the sesame seeds out?" he asks. Apparently, the reason the garlic bread did not taste like garlic was caused by a liberal use of sesame seeds instead of granulated garlic.
two
One the way home Bekah and I encountered a rather bizarre accident. It was one of those sights that make you wish you had taken a picture because no one will believe you when you tell them what you saw.
The accident was most likely caused by someone who had drank a little too much. It was enough to require response from two police units, an EMT, fire truck, and two tow trucks for one car. All the commotion blocked the road to all southbound traffic on Ramsey, forcing us to take a detour to the freeway.
I didn't think it was possible but the car, a station wagon, had driven up the aerial drop of one of the utility lines. The car came to a stop at about a 70 degree angle, back bumper resting on the sidewalk, perfectly balanced on the cable. Who knew those phone wires were SO strong.
I don't know how it happened but I wish I was there to see it happen.
one more for good measure
We found an entertaining way to play Scategories. Instead of picking a list and everybody thinks up words from the same list, you pick a list and everyone thinks of words from a different lists... as long as it is not the list picked at the beginning of the round. When time runs out, everyone compares their wrong answers to the correct list and see who can come the closest to being coherent.
I apologize if that sounds confusing, but that is the best explanation I can think of right now. If you're like me and you suck at Scategories, give this version a try. It is an entertaining spin and who knows... you might fare better.
Bekah and I periodically eat dinner at her parents place, and last night was one of those occasions.
If Italian food is being served and garlic bread is required, Bekah makes it. However last night Bekah and I were halfway to Spokane when the food was being prepared and Bekah's mom called for instructions: how do you make garlic bread?
Cut the bread lengthwise, in half. Melt a cube of butter, mix in granulated garlic and Italian seasoning. If you don't have Italian seasoning, use parsley and basil. Spoon the butter mixture onto the bread. Bake.
Dinner was wonderful, but the bread had no flavor. My father-in-law even lamented the lack of garlicishness. Mom's explanation was she used garlic but she must not have used enough. As dinner finished, Dad stood up to leave and noticed something out of place.
"Why are the sesame seeds out?" he asks. Apparently, the reason the garlic bread did not taste like garlic was caused by a liberal use of sesame seeds instead of granulated garlic.
two
One the way home Bekah and I encountered a rather bizarre accident. It was one of those sights that make you wish you had taken a picture because no one will believe you when you tell them what you saw.
The accident was most likely caused by someone who had drank a little too much. It was enough to require response from two police units, an EMT, fire truck, and two tow trucks for one car. All the commotion blocked the road to all southbound traffic on Ramsey, forcing us to take a detour to the freeway.
I didn't think it was possible but the car, a station wagon, had driven up the aerial drop of one of the utility lines. The car came to a stop at about a 70 degree angle, back bumper resting on the sidewalk, perfectly balanced on the cable. Who knew those phone wires were SO strong.
I don't know how it happened but I wish I was there to see it happen.
one more for good measure
We found an entertaining way to play Scategories. Instead of picking a list and everybody thinks up words from the same list, you pick a list and everyone thinks of words from a different lists... as long as it is not the list picked at the beginning of the round. When time runs out, everyone compares their wrong answers to the correct list and see who can come the closest to being coherent.
I apologize if that sounds confusing, but that is the best explanation I can think of right now. If you're like me and you suck at Scategories, give this version a try. It is an entertaining spin and who knows... you might fare better.
3.28.2006
overheard
While at Quiznos, I overheard one of the strangest things. There was a young man on his cell phone in one of the booths. He had latino styled tattoos on one fore arm and Chinese lettering tattooed to the other. His sense of fashion was borrowed from street gangs and the kid looked like he was from LA or Miami.
He was trying in vain to explain where he was to whoever was on the other end.
Before I continue, find a map of Idaho and locate Coeur d'Alene. Even if you KNOW where Coeur d'Alene is, I would still appreciate it if you looked a map.
Moving on. The kid was describing his location, and the person he was talking to wan't getting it. He looked over at the girl working the cash register and asked:
I kid you not. "Is this North Idaho or south Idaho?"
He was trying in vain to explain where he was to whoever was on the other end.
Before I continue, find a map of Idaho and locate Coeur d'Alene. Even if you KNOW where Coeur d'Alene is, I would still appreciate it if you looked a map.
Moving on. The kid was describing his location, and the person he was talking to wan't getting it. He looked over at the girl working the cash register and asked:
I kid you not. "Is this North Idaho or south Idaho?"
3.27.2006
Panic!
Everybody freaks out when I wear a tie to work, I do not understand why. Our company dress code is business professional, though most come to work dressed business casual. And some show up shouldn't be allowed out in public casual or I'm ready for bed casual.
Unfortunately pajamas, beach wear, and Marylin Manson outfits are common place here. Sometimes I really wish HR would enforce the dress code. Personally I do try to look as professional as possible, but that doesn't always mean I'm wearing a tie.
Yet, when I do wear a tie people start preparing for Armageddon massive. Fear and loathing consumes those that see me on a daily basis.
Then they start asking questions.
"D'you got an interview today?"
"Up for a promotion?"
"Is some one getting fired?"
"Do we have cooperate visitors?"
"Am I in trouble?"
"Going to a wedding later?"
"Who died?"
WHAT!?! Am I not allowed to dress up every now and then? It's not like my normal attire consists of holey jeans and threadbare t-shirts and the shirt and tie is a rare deviance of previously set standards.
The crazy thing is: I try to wear a tie at least twice a week. And yes... people here freak out at least twice a week.
Unfortunately pajamas, beach wear, and Marylin Manson outfits are common place here. Sometimes I really wish HR would enforce the dress code. Personally I do try to look as professional as possible, but that doesn't always mean I'm wearing a tie.
Yet, when I do wear a tie people start preparing for Armageddon massive. Fear and loathing consumes those that see me on a daily basis.
Then they start asking questions.
"D'you got an interview today?"
"Up for a promotion?"
"Is some one getting fired?"
"Do we have cooperate visitors?"
"Am I in trouble?"
"Going to a wedding later?"
"Who died?"
WHAT!?! Am I not allowed to dress up every now and then? It's not like my normal attire consists of holey jeans and threadbare t-shirts and the shirt and tie is a rare deviance of previously set standards.
The crazy thing is: I try to wear a tie at least twice a week. And yes... people here freak out at least twice a week.
3.10.2006
expect the unexpected
This has been a rather strange week. And I'm glad it is over.
The weather has been weird. The last weather report I saw before going to bed Tuesday night predicted lower 40's with a chance of rain and periods of strong wind. Wednesday morning after shoving my MP3 headphones into my ears I opened the door to a dusty snowfall. It was really eerie, kind of like the snowfall that bathed LA at the end of Crash. As I walked, the wind picked up and began to blow the snow sideways. The odd thing is the temperature never dipped below the freezing mark, so it was a wet sticky snow. By the time I got home from work the news meteorologists were reporting a winter storm advisory "going into effect sometime earlier today and lasting until any minute now."
My class is weird. Other than the sophomoric outbursts, frustrations and amusements, and homicidal temptations, they really are a great group. However I can not say the same for the curriculum I'm supposed to be teaching. The last seven weeks have been pure chaos for me and the other trainer that launched the department. There were supposed to be two final tests, one taken at the beginning of the fifth week and the other at the end of the seventh. Today is the end of week seven and the second final did not appear in our curriculum until three days ago. I was so excited to give it to my class so that we can be done and over with every thing. But to my dismay, I opened the link to final number two and... it was a carbon copy of the first final test. Out of fifty questions, only TWO were different. I called the guy who writes all of our curriculum and let him know what was going on. He said it would be fixed in a couple days; meanwhile my class was originally slated to graduate in a couple of days. Yesterday I got an e-mail saying that the final was not supposed to be on day 21 but should have been on day 35, the error has been fixed. Great, my class took the final two weeks ago, been working really hard to study for the second final that they were told was coming; now there is no second test. So, I just gave it to them again. Hopefully they do better. The other trainer and I both have protested the quality of the final, (it doesn't have much that pertains to our department's normal activity) so the guy that wrote our curriculum asked if we would rewrite it for future classes. Heck yeah, I'm down with that.
Since our classes are the first classes to use the curriculum, the students are ending up as guinea pigs. They haven't particularly appreciated that status, but they have managed to survive. Well, most of them have. On their first call, instead of saying "this call will be recorded and monitored for blah blah blah" one of my agents said "this call will be recorded and modified..." Another agent had a bit of a Freudian slip and inverted the 's' and 'k' in welcome disk, thankfully the customer did not notice.
The class graduates Tuesday. After that I'm not sure if I'm going back to my old department, staying in this one, or doing something completely unexpected. Whatever it is, I'm sure it will be good.
The weather has been weird. The last weather report I saw before going to bed Tuesday night predicted lower 40's with a chance of rain and periods of strong wind. Wednesday morning after shoving my MP3 headphones into my ears I opened the door to a dusty snowfall. It was really eerie, kind of like the snowfall that bathed LA at the end of Crash. As I walked, the wind picked up and began to blow the snow sideways. The odd thing is the temperature never dipped below the freezing mark, so it was a wet sticky snow. By the time I got home from work the news meteorologists were reporting a winter storm advisory "going into effect sometime earlier today and lasting until any minute now."
My class is weird. Other than the sophomoric outbursts, frustrations and amusements, and homicidal temptations, they really are a great group. However I can not say the same for the curriculum I'm supposed to be teaching. The last seven weeks have been pure chaos for me and the other trainer that launched the department. There were supposed to be two final tests, one taken at the beginning of the fifth week and the other at the end of the seventh. Today is the end of week seven and the second final did not appear in our curriculum until three days ago. I was so excited to give it to my class so that we can be done and over with every thing. But to my dismay, I opened the link to final number two and... it was a carbon copy of the first final test. Out of fifty questions, only TWO were different. I called the guy who writes all of our curriculum and let him know what was going on. He said it would be fixed in a couple days; meanwhile my class was originally slated to graduate in a couple of days. Yesterday I got an e-mail saying that the final was not supposed to be on day 21 but should have been on day 35, the error has been fixed. Great, my class took the final two weeks ago, been working really hard to study for the second final that they were told was coming; now there is no second test. So, I just gave it to them again. Hopefully they do better. The other trainer and I both have protested the quality of the final, (it doesn't have much that pertains to our department's normal activity) so the guy that wrote our curriculum asked if we would rewrite it for future classes. Heck yeah, I'm down with that.
Since our classes are the first classes to use the curriculum, the students are ending up as guinea pigs. They haven't particularly appreciated that status, but they have managed to survive. Well, most of them have. On their first call, instead of saying "this call will be recorded and monitored for blah blah blah" one of my agents said "this call will be recorded and modified..." Another agent had a bit of a Freudian slip and inverted the 's' and 'k' in welcome disk, thankfully the customer did not notice.
The class graduates Tuesday. After that I'm not sure if I'm going back to my old department, staying in this one, or doing something completely unexpected. Whatever it is, I'm sure it will be good.
2.22.2006
hope for mankind
Burger King has renewed my faith in humanity… almost.
If you are a faithful reader (all three of you) you will know that I haven’t had good luck when it comes to fast food restaurants.
I have had a bad experience with the ranch sauce at Arby’s. Taco Bell is well... Taco Bell. I refuse to eat at Wendy because they have gotten my order wrong more often then they’ve gotten it right. And I’ll only eat at Jack n the Box or Del Taco if I’m in the mood to wait ten to fifteen minuets before getting my food. (Seriously, I have received my food at the Olive Garden faster than that.)
When it comes to Burger King, their hiring usually scrapes the bottom of the gene pool. This is not just a local thing – every Burger King I have eaten at, from Seattle to Sioux Falls, is staffed by a bunch of inbred hillbillies and illegal immigrants. (No offense to any inbred hillbillies and illegal immigrants that might read this post.)
I decided that I was in the mood for chicken fries for lunch today, no chance of them screwing that up, right? I go back to work, sat down in the break room and opened up my to-go bag. Naturally the order was wrong. I ordered a nine-piece, they gave me six.
So, I drove back to Burger King. The manager (eighteen year old kid in a manager’s shirt) was at the cash register. He asked how he could help me and I said…
“I was really looking forward to consuming my dinner and have adequate time to take pleasure in some relaxing conversation with my coworkers. Alas, I am not able to enjoy that longed for banter thanks to your pitiful kitchen staff. I ordered a nine-piece chicken fry, and in case you are incapable of counting, I received only six. My math skills are severely deficient, but last time I checked, that means that you shorted me thirty-three percent of what is due me. I am greatly distressed, not only am I wasting time due to your folly, but I may be tardy in return to my employ. It is this kind of incompetence that is contributing to the degradation of modern society and I will not tolerate it any longer. I demand that you give me what is rightfully mine.”
Not really. What I really said was, “Um... I ordered a number seven, but I uh, only got six fries.”
The boy manager immediately and apathetically apologized and ordered another nine-piece from an older lady working the fryer.
“Um,” I said. “Really, I’ve got six all ready. I only need three more.”
“Don’t worry about it,” he says. “I’ll just get you another one.” Seconds later, the other one appeared.
He didn’t even ask for a receipt. Finally, a fast food manager who understands how to care for his customers. I am impressed. Most other fast food managers look at me (and treat me) like it is my fault that they screwed up my order and how dare I attempt to correct their mistake. One of the managers at McDonald's defended his employees with out even a brief apology or explanation of why four people got their food and I’m still waiting.
So here’s to you, goofy looking slightly awkward Burger King manager manchild. Kudos. My hat is off to you. Keep up the good work, your future is bright.
Oh yeah, and uh... thanks.
If you are a faithful reader (all three of you) you will know that I haven’t had good luck when it comes to fast food restaurants.
I have had a bad experience with the ranch sauce at Arby’s. Taco Bell is well... Taco Bell. I refuse to eat at Wendy because they have gotten my order wrong more often then they’ve gotten it right. And I’ll only eat at Jack n the Box or Del Taco if I’m in the mood to wait ten to fifteen minuets before getting my food. (Seriously, I have received my food at the Olive Garden faster than that.)
When it comes to Burger King, their hiring usually scrapes the bottom of the gene pool. This is not just a local thing – every Burger King I have eaten at, from Seattle to Sioux Falls, is staffed by a bunch of inbred hillbillies and illegal immigrants. (No offense to any inbred hillbillies and illegal immigrants that might read this post.)
I decided that I was in the mood for chicken fries for lunch today, no chance of them screwing that up, right? I go back to work, sat down in the break room and opened up my to-go bag. Naturally the order was wrong. I ordered a nine-piece, they gave me six.
So, I drove back to Burger King. The manager (eighteen year old kid in a manager’s shirt) was at the cash register. He asked how he could help me and I said…
“I was really looking forward to consuming my dinner and have adequate time to take pleasure in some relaxing conversation with my coworkers. Alas, I am not able to enjoy that longed for banter thanks to your pitiful kitchen staff. I ordered a nine-piece chicken fry, and in case you are incapable of counting, I received only six. My math skills are severely deficient, but last time I checked, that means that you shorted me thirty-three percent of what is due me. I am greatly distressed, not only am I wasting time due to your folly, but I may be tardy in return to my employ. It is this kind of incompetence that is contributing to the degradation of modern society and I will not tolerate it any longer. I demand that you give me what is rightfully mine.”
Not really. What I really said was, “Um... I ordered a number seven, but I uh, only got six fries.”
The boy manager immediately and apathetically apologized and ordered another nine-piece from an older lady working the fryer.
“Um,” I said. “Really, I’ve got six all ready. I only need three more.”
“Don’t worry about it,” he says. “I’ll just get you another one.” Seconds later, the other one appeared.
He didn’t even ask for a receipt. Finally, a fast food manager who understands how to care for his customers. I am impressed. Most other fast food managers look at me (and treat me) like it is my fault that they screwed up my order and how dare I attempt to correct their mistake. One of the managers at McDonald's defended his employees with out even a brief apology or explanation of why four people got their food and I’m still waiting.
So here’s to you, goofy looking slightly awkward Burger King manager manchild. Kudos. My hat is off to you. Keep up the good work, your future is bright.
Oh yeah, and uh... thanks.
2.15.2006
real life conversation
I am not making this conversation up.
Teacher: What is the oldest pyramid in Egypt
Student 1: (shurg)I don't know.
Student 2: The one at Giza?
(other students guess)
Student 3: Is it the one without the nose?
Teacher: (random laughing in the background) That is not a pyramid.
Student 3: Yes it is, it's the one with no nose!
(more random laughter)
Student 2: What about the great pyramid?
Teacher: No.
Student 3: The one with no nose, it's a statue in Egypt. It's the oldest pyramid.
Teacher: (shakes head no)
Student 4: (attempts to explain what a pyramid is)
Student 3: It's the one with the broken nose. You know... The sphincter!
Teacher: What is the oldest pyramid in Egypt
Student 1: (shurg)I don't know.
Student 2: The one at Giza?
(other students guess)
Student 3: Is it the one without the nose?
Teacher: (random laughing in the background) That is not a pyramid.
Student 3: Yes it is, it's the one with no nose!
(more random laughter)
Student 2: What about the great pyramid?
Teacher: No.
Student 3: The one with no nose, it's a statue in Egypt. It's the oldest pyramid.
Teacher: (shakes head no)
Student 4: (attempts to explain what a pyramid is)
Student 3: It's the one with the broken nose. You know... The sphincter!
2.14.2006
movies... I mean movie (singular)
Bekah and I do not get out to the theater much any more. That was a fairly common thing when we first met/dated, and even after we got married. But now, with a toddler son, school for Bekah, and a more than full time job for me, opportunity for motion picture enjoyment is slimmer than it used to be. Then add in Bekah's lupis and our attempts to establish mutual friends in the area... did I mention the toddler? You get the picture.
Needless to say when we go see a movie, we make it worth the effort. We had the chance to get out this last weekend and it was definitely worth it. For those of you that have seen Walk the Line I hope you enjoyed it as much as I did. Great movie with Oscar worthy performances from Reese Witherspoon and Jaoquin Phoenix.
Even more impressive than the lead roles were some of the bit parts. The people they found to act as Elvis, Jerry Lee Lewis, Roy Orbison, and Waylon Jennings turned out amazing performances.
I'm not particularly fond of biographical movies. In fact, a good biography is rare on the silver screen and yet I keep torturing myself by watching them. But this one was more than good. If you haven't seen it yet, do.
Needless to say when we go see a movie, we make it worth the effort. We had the chance to get out this last weekend and it was definitely worth it. For those of you that have seen Walk the Line I hope you enjoyed it as much as I did. Great movie with Oscar worthy performances from Reese Witherspoon and Jaoquin Phoenix.
Even more impressive than the lead roles were some of the bit parts. The people they found to act as Elvis, Jerry Lee Lewis, Roy Orbison, and Waylon Jennings turned out amazing performances.
I'm not particularly fond of biographical movies. In fact, a good biography is rare on the silver screen and yet I keep torturing myself by watching them. But this one was more than good. If you haven't seen it yet, do.
2.12.2006
nothing to say
It's been a week since the my last post. Partially because my life is boring. Partially due to extreme busy work schedule. But mostly because I'm lazy.
Right now Bekah is sick, Christian is sick, and I'm sick. Our household is an exciting place.
Tomorrow is the beginning of the fourth week of a seven week class. They're a bit obnoxious but they are a good group. Too bad the rest of my peers think they're a bunch of savages.
Right now Bekah is sick, Christian is sick, and I'm sick. Our household is an exciting place.
Tomorrow is the beginning of the fourth week of a seven week class. They're a bit obnoxious but they are a good group. Too bad the rest of my peers think they're a bunch of savages.
2.05.2006
MVP
Steelers vs Seahawks. This is officially the worst Super Bowl game I have EVER seen. Pittsburgh should not have won and don't deserve the trophy.
The real MVP?? The refs.
The real MVP?? The refs.
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