For example, the beginning of chapter 22 addresses finances in one form or another. It begins with the claim a good reputation is better than wealth, then later it says the rich rule over the poor. The chapter describes both the wealthy and destitute as equal creations of God. It promises humility is rewarded with riches and generosity leads to blessings. It warns against sowing injustice (you'll reap calamity) and oppressing the poor for selfish gain (you'll come to poverty).
Christian culture has embraced the sixth verse from this chapter as the prescription for child rearing. "Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it."
If you ask a faithful Christian about how to raise kids, they probably know this verse. It is repeated to new parents in every denomination, read in church parenting classes, and is the advice offered by pastors to parents with rebellious teenagers. But if you ask those same individuals about the rest of the chapter, their knowledge is probably limited to the lone verse about training their child. Rare few people would quote for you verse eleven: "One who loves a pure heart and who speaks with grace will have the king for a friend." Even rarer, you will have an explanation of verse six in contexts of the surrounding passage or ancient cultures and traditions. This is the challenge of reading scripture with Western eyes.
Sola Scriptura is a doctrine common among protestant and evangelical denominations. It proposes that the bible is the one and only trusted source for rules, instruction, and practice. Question anything, the answer is found in scripture. Adherence to sola scriptura takes the bible literally and clings to biblical inerrancy - a teaching of the bible being free of error or fault. This is the culture in which I was raised: the bible is perfect, perceived contradictions is a misunderstanding of the reader, scripture is the only source of wisdom, and every word was literal fact.
As I got older, sola scriptura grew confusing and impractical, which brings me back to Proverbs 22:6. Train up a child in the way he should go. The NIV translation reads, "Start children off on the way they should go," and the NLT says, "Direct your children onto the right path." Train them. Start them. Direct them. All point to the same result: they won't leave it when they're older.
Taken literally, it made sense with my family. My parents were spiritual leaders for my brother and me. They insisted on church attendance. Prayed for us, read us bible stories, and theological issues with us. When we grew up, Aaron and I remained Christians; as adults, we have both been active in ministry. We did not depart from the path.
Statistically speaking, the Casey family is an anomaly. A study from the SBC indicated 70% of teens actively involved in evangelical youth groups quit attending church within two years of graduating high school. Other research shows a shrinking number of adults identifying as Christian and a growth among religiously unaffiliated citizens. Surveys have revealed many young adults abandoning the faith of their youth during or after their freshman year of college. Taking Proverbs 22:6 literally, we must assume their parents didn't train them in the way they should go.
My experience disagrees this interpretation.
It worked with my parents, but the same isn't universally true. Not all the kids I grew up with still believe in God. I remember their parents and what it was like in their homes. They instilled Godly values too. They made every attempt to direct their kids down the correct paths, yet their kids still strayed. Their kids abandoned the road. Their kids left the faith. Their results disprove scripture. They trained up their kids in the way they should go and their kids did not follow the path. Does that mean their parents didn't really train them up in the way they should go? It sure looks like they did. What went wrong that my parents got right? My folks made a lot of mistakes, so how did Aaron and I hold onto a faith so many of our peers abandoned?
What about PKs? Pastors and preachers should be better equipped to lead their offspring into a legacy of Christian belief. Yet the children of clergy can end up running away from faith as adults, and often do. Rebellious pastor’s kids are unfortunately common, raised on a path they refuse to follow.
How many devoted Christians have prayed reverently for the deliverance of their wayward children. Drug addicts, alcoholics, abusers, and apostates who once attended their houses of worship like good little children? How many of these faithful have agonized over where they failed, hopeless over their kid’s eternal fate.
What happens when you train a child and they rebel? That question has plagued me ever since I became a parent. That question led me to doubt sola scriptura doctrine. I mean, we can't possibly take this passage literally if the literal application doesn't work. It presents other issues too, problems beyond contradictory experiential evidence.
It is incompatible with doctrine of free will - the belief that God allows humanity to go our own way. It defies the teaching of Jesus: "Enter through the narrow gate. For wide is the gate and broad is the road that leads to destruction, and many enter through it. But small is the gate and narrow the road that leads to life, and only a few find it." Literal interpretation of Proverbs 22:6 insists the path you follow is not your decision, it is the result of how you were raised. With a literal approach, you’re incapable of choosing to enter the narrow gate unless their parents taught you to do so. Biblical literalism here also removes any opportunity for personal responsibility. After all, one could claim "it's not my fault my life is messed up, my parents didn't train me up in the way I should go."
It is incompatible with doctrine of predestination - the belief that God has already determined the destiny of everything before it ever happens. It defies the letters of Paul who wrote, "For those God foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the image of his Son" and "He predestined us for adoption to sonship through Jesus Christ." Literal interpretation of Proverbs 22:6 insists it is parental actions, not God's selection that sets a course for a child's destiny. If we adhere to this, we supplant God's will with our own. If you truly believe in predestination, then it shouldn't matter what a parent does or doesn't do because grown up kids only remain on the path if it is where God ordained them to be.
Here is what I have determined: we (as humans) don't really know what we're doing. Our best option is to do the best we can do with the tools we've been given. I believe that is what my parents did. I also believe that is the choice made by the parents of my friends who did not remain devout. The divine fate between choice and destiny is something I will never fully understand. Looking at scripture alone to find an answer is absurd. If you tell me you interpret the bible literally, I want to know. What happens when you trained a child in the way they should go but they depart from it?
Does this mean I am rejecting or abandoning scripture? Of course not. I still see the bible as holy, sacred, and divinely inspired. However, I am abandoning many of the conservative and fundamentalist teachings about the bible. I am rejecting the idea that the way we've interpreted the bible is perfect.
So, I'll do my best. I will work to be the best dad I can be. I will teach my kids about my faith and lead them to the best of my ability. Then I will hope for the best outcome. Because if God has already determined their path, then what will be will be. And if the path they choose is truly their choice then I cannot be responsible if they decide something different than what I directed.
I might not believe in a literal interpretation of Proverbs 22:6 anymore, but I still take it seriously. It is my duty as a Christian father to lead my kids. Maybe they won't stray from the path. Maybe they will. And perhaps, just maybe, my idea of the path they should follow isn't the way they should go. I'm open to the possibility God has other plans.
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