What It’s Like to Be Me: In the Beginning Pt 7, Jeff & The Tommymonsters

Often, the friendships we form in our late teens and early twenties are some of the most influential relationships we’ll ever forge in our lifetimes. When I look back at my small circle of friends during this phase of my life, there are two voices who played a huge part in making me me.

The first was Jeff, a dude I met in junior high who would become my best friend over the next few years and remain a constant in my life through my mid-twenties. The second group of voices came from the guys in the Tommymonsters – my roommate’s band while I was living in Boise. For better or worse, I am the man I am today because of the experiences I had with them. In both instances, these friendships revolved around music. With the former we talked about it, in the latter we made it. As life has moved on over the years since, I’ve never abandoned my love for music or the memories I shared with these guys.

Counting Crows: “Mr. Jones”
No other song could thoroughly encapsulate the relationship between Jeff and me like “Mr. Jones.” This is a story I’ve written about before in a two part post. The first half has a hopeful start; unfortunately, his story doesn’t have a happy ending. Grey is still my favorite color, “felt so symbolic.” Someday, I’ll buy myself a grey guitar and play it in remembrance of Jeff.

Guardian: “What Does It Take?”
Throughout our friendship, I was deeply mired in evangelical culture. And Jeff hated church. As much as he was angry at God, he never criticized my faith. He accepted it as a part of who I was. When most people talked about God around him, he’d tell them to shut up – often with colorful expletives. Yet when I talked about God, he’d allow it. Beyond permitting me to talk about religious stuff, he’d respond and participate in the conversation. I often wondered what it would take for him to abandon all of his anger and hatred. It truly would have been an act of God. I prayed for him a lot. This song described much if how I felt. “If you could hear me pray tonight, would you be angry or surprised to hear your name announced.” I know that beginning a genuine relationship with God isn’t a magical solution to make all of your problems go away. Still, I can’t help but wonder how Jeff’s life could have followed a different path if he had a religious conversion.

Daughtry: “Long Live Rock & Roll”
Chris Daughtry is the same age as me, so when he opened this song singing, “I was born the year that disco died, and U2 was in high school thank the Lord that they survived,” I could immediately relate. So many if the references Daughtry makes in this song are mirror images of conversations between Jeff and me. “We still wonder if Kurt really wrote the song she sang in Hole.” Yeah, we talked about that. “We still argue about who's better: Motley Crew or G&R.” That argument actually escalated into a fist fight that I had to break up. “We still can't believe Van Halen turned into Van Hagar.” We lamented that one too. Daughtry is a member of my generation, stuck between Gen X and Millennials, sharing traits with both but not belonging to either. So it makes sense that we share many if the same musical influences and he would talk to his friends about the same bands like Jeff and I did.

Puller: “#1 Fan”
It started as a jam session with Thomas, Steve, and Nate. The next day, Thomas was beyond excited and wouldn’t stop talking about it. “You wouldn’t believe how good Steve sounded. Man, you gotta come with us the next time we do this.” So I did. I was there the next time they jammed. And the time after that. By then they officially joined as a band and named themselves The Tommymosnters. They recruited me to be their audio technician and I controlled the mixer for them at all of their rehearsals. I ran sound for them at their concerts. Accompanied them on adventures to a garage band festival in McCall Idaho, an independent musicians conference in Seattle, and a road trip to Eugene Oregon. I took a lot of pictures, promoted them, helped book shows, and hung out in the studio when they recorded their three song demo. The called me their manager, but I was really an over-glorified roadie. After all was said and done, I was their number one fan.

Poor Old Lu: “Chance for the Chancers”
The Tommymonsters frequently covered this song in their concerts. Everyone in our house knew how to play it so it was a favored song in our group sing-a-longs. Thomas even taught me how to play it. One night, we had five people on acoustic guitars, a couple tambourines, and a dozen people singing “Chance for the Chancers.” It was a beautiful experience. However, there is one memorable moment where this song played a significant role – not just in my life, but also in the life of another person who needed to hear it. You can read that story here.