Parenting a strong-willed/ADHD preschooler can be a challenge. However, when that child has the imagination of Stan Lee & the Brothers Grimm blended together with a bit of Veggie Tales for good measure - parenting is a bit more entertaining. There's four distinct conversations that really sum up what Christian is all about - four distinct aspects of his personality: easily-distracted creativity, devious logic, misplaced generosity, and near megalomaniacal self-assuredness.
1. He once sat down to tell Bekah a story: Goldilocks & the 3 Bears. It started off normal, but... here's how their conversation went.
"Hey momma I am gonna tell you a story ok ok ok?"
"It's about bears but don't be scared they're nice bears."
"All right. I won't be scared go ahead."
"Once upon a time there was a mommy bear a daddy bear and a baby bear with sisters and brothers. And one day a little girl came to their house and knocked on the door. Her name was Goldilocks. She asked if she could come in and have dinner and a sleepover party."
"Yeah and then.... oh what's this mom it looks like a wheel? It is a circle it rolls like a wheel what is it mom? Look! Look!"
"Honey that is a fast food cup lid. We were talking about Goldilocks and the bears. "
"Oh yeah! Then a giant whale came and he had lots and lots of teeth. He ate the whole entire world."
"What happened to the Goldilocks and the Bears?"
"Well Superman came to the rescue and flew up to the whale and opened his mouth and pulled the whole world back out and Goldilocks and the Bears lived happily ever after the end. Wasn't that a good story momma?"
2. Remember the monkey we bought him at Zoo Boise - the one he named Moo? Well he has another favorite stuffed monkey with an odd moniker - we took both monkeys with us to Oklahoma. On our return flight he got to introduce this other monkey to a friendly airline employee.
A male flight attendant is checking to see that all passengers have buckled in.
"Is that your monkey?"
"What's its name?"
"It's a little girl?"
"No." I clarified. "The monkey's name is Little Girl."
"Oh, so it's a girl monkey?"
"No, it's a boy."
(in disbelief & bewilderment) "The monkey is a boy named Little Girl."
Bekah and I both nodded.
(While walking away) "Interesting."
3. On New Years Day, I was picking up some clothes from the floor in Christian's room when he walked in... sniffling and snorting.
"What's wrong, Christian."
"Nofing." Snort, snort, chunky inhale.
"Why are you making those noises?"
"I sthugck paper utp my noze."
"You stuck paper up your nose?"
"Why did you do that kiddo?"
"Beefcuz hi'm savin it for my teacher."
4. Finally tonight he slayed any fears I had that he'll ever struggle with self-esteem issues. As a part of his bed time routine, I tuck him in then climb onto his bed to chat. I use this time to remind him that I love him, and value him, and to remind him how special he is. His response tonight showed that these chats are having some effect.
"You're a very special kid. You know that don't you?"
"You're special too, Daddy."
"Shhh., no talking. Listen very closely - even when you're making bad choices... even when you misbehave... even when you're acting very naughty... I still love you."
"Everybody loves me, Daddy."
Bekah and I must be doing something right as he's turning out to be the most well adjusted (although strange) four year old boy.