Sports... For those who don't know

Some definitions

Hockey: Like figure skating, with violence.

Figure Skating: ice skates + jumpsuits and tu-tus + boring music = something like ballet but I'm not quite sure

Cricket: A retarded British version of baseball

Baseball: One team takes turns running around a diamond shaped circle while the other team stands around and waits for something exciting to happen

Snowboarding: skateboarding with snow, trees, steep hills, and no wheels

Skateboarding: Surfing on concrete, usually in places skateboarding is not allowed

Surfing: oceanic version of snowboarding, with sharks

Football: two mobs wearing shoulder pads fight over an oddly shaped ball, occasionally they end up in a dog-pile

Soccer: Like football, but with a real ball and you can't use your hands

Boxing: A bar room brawl, but legal and with rules

Basketball: Kinda like square dancing, only everyone is REALLY tall and wears squeaky shoes, it also involves an orange ball and a lot of yelling

Nascar: A bunch of people drive cars plastered with advertisements for Walmart, Cheerios, and cheap beer, there's no point to Nascar except to entertain drunk rednecks

Pro Wrestling: Bad acting + predictable scripts + big muscles = excuse for white trash to get drunk

Sumo Wrestling: like pro wrestling with fat guys no scripts and no white trash

Golf: a fashion show where the lowest score wins, birdies are good, bogies are bad, and the fans have to be quiet

Tennis: like ping-pong... on a much larger scale

Rugby: a sick and twisted mix of football, soccer, hockey, wrestling (pro and sumo), boxing, keep-away, red rover, hot potato, a round of team-slayer in Halo, and a mosh pit

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