The most epic instant message conversation ever!

(preface: in a recent facebook status update, I mentioned donuts, which my wife despises with the passion equal to how clergymen hate blasphemy. My father and I both indulge in donutty goodness whenever the opportunity presents itself. My wife's attempt to explain her distaste for the round and frosted pastry devolved into mind numbing absurdity. What follows is that instant message conversation between Bekah my dad.)

Rebekah
Donuts are evil and disgusting!!!!!

Marlin
you forgot wonderful too

Rebekah
the cow moos at the full moon
the duck quacks as the dog barks

Marlin
and the cow jumped over the moon, but it was only a quarter moon. it cost a dime

Rebekah
The pink elephants danced on top of a purple dinosaur.
I ate a raccoon for dinner tonight

Marlin
the alligator snuggled with the giraffe

Rebekah
the alligator bit the giraffe's head off :)
and then drank some pepto

Marlin
had to...swallowed cat hair balls

Rebekah
and laid a platypus egg
then it went on a carnival cruise
'cause girls just wanna have fun
5 years ago the alligator was a horse
alligators hate verizon wireless
alligators don't exist

Marlin
bull. the girls don't know where the fun is stored. the rental agency sold Walmart the marketing rights to the zoo

Rebekah
Elephants remember years of information they don't need. They also store it in large spreadsheets

Marlin
maybe the roach coach should serve the meals at the zoo

Rebekah
I am properly medicated today

Marlin
!!!!!
have half convo and mix it with meds and discover a new aura

Rebekah
its a revised updated changed segmented and masked hard working slug
on meds
like mine
your aura is new
and a psychiatrist

Marlin
found it on a full moon...when I was howling

Rebekah
the pig needs a shark
a vicious shark

Marlin
it was at Florida beach
near Atlanta
Atlanta is a suburb of Cincinatti

Rebekah
right next to Ethiopa
I swam there once with a hippo

Marlin
as long as you ain't the hippo, that is fine

Rebekah
nope I was riding the hippo with a puppy

Marlin
the persian cat puppy?

Rebekah
praise Allah

Marlin
careful, Salt Lake City is calling you collect

Rebekah
I can never find a Mormon or a satanist when I need one

Marlin
yup, along with them sacred cows the jehovah witnesses worship
they want you to host the pope
I meant poop lol lol
get a load of that diaper

Rebekah
It was stinking and glowing and in great supply, the Lord has blessed our harvest

Marlin
is that hairiest?

Rebekah
yup


(epilogue: All this happened in the span of 10 minutes. Once the poop jokes rolled out, they new there was no salvaging any semblance of sanity. To wrap it up, Dad admitted "I am going to get out of this....it is starting to make sense to me." I've read it a dozen times and it does not make sense to me. These are two of the most important people in my life. I'm married to one and the other is my genetic predecessor. So if I ever appear crazy - there is very good reason for that.)