10 Things I Learned Last Night @ the ER

10. The medical staff does have a sense of humor. They asked me the routine questions: are you allergic to any medication, does your family of history of heart problems, do you smoke, do you drink, etc. When they got to the question do you do cocaine? I answered - not to my knowledge. I didn't intend for my answer to be funny - but the nurses thought it was hilarious.

9. Travis (not sure if he was a doctor or RN or ???) looked like Adam Levine of Maroon 5. Nice guy. Travis said he would make my EKG machine stop beeping as long as I promised to "not die."

8. I still don't like needles.

7. Having an IV in your hand is not pleasant. I told Bekah - if I get some terminal illness that requires me to be poked and prodded and plugged into a bunch of tubes and IVs, just let me die.

6. However, I do like the smell of the oxygen tubes they stick up your nose.

5. EKGs and chest hair are a bad combination.

4. When you overhear two doctors talking in the hallway, one doctor uses the term "psychotic" and the other says "neurotic," you know the diagnosis does not look good for the patient they're discussing.

3. I'm not sure what kind of drugs they gave me, but that was some good stuff. It made me really happy. It also made me really funny... if only to myself.

2. Doctors consider any blood pressure to be good. High, low, doesn't matter. If you have blood pressure, it's a good thing. Consider the alternative.

1. There is nothing wrong with me. They gave me a clean bill of health. Unfortunately, it takes longer for them to discharge you than it does to admit you.

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